nuk
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Reged: 04/17/11
Posts: 6
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Going through limbo stage of a separation...
04/17/11 10:10 PM
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Hello, I have been married for almost 4 years now and am going through a separation initiated by my wife. Six-weeks ago, my wife and I had an argument. It was one of those that was festering for some time; especially on her end. I had been working a lot and didn't give her the attention she deserved/needed. A small argument turned into something bigger. It got to a point where she called some family that lives in the area to come pick her up. The problem is that once that happened, her family got involved as did mine. The family that picked her up was my cousin and his wife. The next day, my cousin requested that the both of us meet (with him there) to talk about our issues. Once we met, she requested a two-month separation where we would participate in marital counseling and I would also do anger management on my own. I did not feel that I needed anger management as when I get upset, I tend to shut off. However, I do admit that small things make me upset and cause me to shut down towards her. Therefore, I agreed with the anger management to save my marriage. During this month, I have learned, through her parents, that she leased a room (not sure how long) at school (She is a Senior in college). Now, I have also learned that she isn't ready to go to counseling together and would like a separation for six months. She wants six months with little to no contact so we can take time to reflect on the issues. She has spoken at one time or another to a mutual friend and to someone in my family. Both times she stated that she still wants to work this out but is scared to come home at this point and needs time. She didn't take much when she moved out and still hasn't come back for the rest of her things. I did get an email from her last week stating that she is going to independent counseling and listing issues that she would like for me to work on in counseling. My question is, do people do no-contact separations for an extended period of time like six months and still want to work it out? Or is this just a way for her to find time until she is done with school before she goes through the divorce process? She says that she just wants me to work on things separately for now and maybe after some time we will go to counseling together.
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