Dang folks, looks like I have been the topic of discussion since I have beena away for a few days lol. To Clarify, (not to be cofused with justification at this point) When my wife left me for another man in Jan of 2009 I was crushed, it was the most traumatic thing I have ever been through, and I sat at home with a 5 year old and a 2 year old for months until the divorce was over, at which time we got joint equal custody, we lived in the same town, she got them one week, I got them the next Sunday to Sunday. So through the entire summer of 2009 I had a week at a time alone to mow.
During the December time frame of 2009 we started discussing getting back together, we went to marriage counseling, and remarried in June of 2010. She worked every other weekend only, I had plenty of time to mow.
As soon as she moved in I started finding empty pill bottles, the lies, the deception, I also found out she had been going to the town where her boyfriend from her previous infedelity lived, so said she wasn't seeing him, but she had no other reason to go there.
She went into rehab in November of 2010 after she overdosed at work in the ER she was working at. She spent 40 days in rehab and got out around Dec 29th 2010.
She was home about 2 weeks, said she couldn't be married and get through her issues, and left.
The first week she went to rehab I found Facebook messages with the other guy, that on top of finally realizing how much she was STILL lying about the pills hit me just as hard as it did the first time, however after a few days I realized that I was feeling the realization that she doesn't treat me well, not the pain of being mistreated. I really didn't hurt as much as I thought, she showed me consitantly over time that I don't matter, and she killed our marriage. But it is more of a relief at this point that it is over, not traumatic.
I did run into my friend March of 2011, and we are working through a few things together, and this is the first summer that I have had my kids 2 weeks straight with every other week-end to mow, and this 1 week-end I mentioned I was going to take the kids to their mothers and mow, she said she didn't want them on short notice, my friend watched them, I am not sorry for it, if all of you have no issues maintaining your property then good for you, I will do what I see fit to maintain mine and have my children supervised during the time I do it if previous plans fall through.
I went through one divorce staring at four walls, getting up at 4 int he morning to do chores, staying up till midnight to finish them so that it was around the kids needs, my friend helps me, I help her, and we are getting closer, I can see myself possibly having a future with her if it works out. As far as the kids, I know that is the mainstream thought that "what if it ends, they get attached" but I never thought my marriage would end, and it did, out of my control, and the sun still came up the next day. I am a good father, I know this, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, but on the same token I have needs as well, emotional and personal needs that I may or may not choose to maintain for myself and my sanity. Like I said before, I am not trying to start a right or wrong, but it is too late for that, I was just wondering if any of you had been through a similar situation, and if so how it went for you.