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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Child Custody and Visitation

LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680

Re: shared parenting not working

06/23/11 12:06 PM

[quote]Sounds like she needs therapy if she's afraid of him and she's 5.

--------->> BTDT. She's afraid to communicate with him. At one point he made the mistake of threatening to spank her. And it'd hurt "really, really, really bad". I suspect that was a threat AFTER the one I was present for which was similar. Basically anything mom could do to her? Dad could do a lot worse. That was the general gist. For the personality type she is, spanking is one of THE worst things to do. I have worked with her a lot on it, and I do know how to handle her. Isn't doing a lot of good.

She'll go "visit" but she doesn't want to stay overnights. She is scared to be there, has nightmares, is awake most of the night while dad snores on her floor.

And who knows, by the time she's older, she might feel very differently about time with her dad. [/quote]

------------>> My guess is? This is highly unlikely. Her purpose for being there is, as she's stated, a "playdate" with her sister. Her sister is 10 and losing interest in her rapidly. At some point, the sister will be 18, and dd will be 13. Once the older child stops being there when dd is? DD will have ZERO interest. her relationship there isn't with her dad, it's a playdate with her sister.

I know, I know.. that's not healthy. I have tried to dissuade her from this line of thought.. Unsuccessfully. I have tried to get my ex to understand the situation.. he only sees it as "me" trying to keep his other child away from ours. Which is NOT true I just think at SOME point my ex should be establishing SOME level of relationship with his daughter (our child) that is not entirely dependent on the presence of the other child. Unfortunately, he cannot/will not see it and/or feels threatened by it. I've tried subtle, I've tried direct, it doesn't work. When we first split, I insisted that he have every other visit with just dd. She was 1 at the time. That quickly (like within less than 6 months) went by the wayside and I can count on maybe one hand the number of times ex has been with dd, in the last.. 4.. years.. without the other child present.

I have done all I can do in the matter. And my ex is VERY VERY aware that dd has no interest in staying overnight. She has no interest in phone calls. He gets sulky voice, Mr. I'm so Unwanted, "well, you don't HAVE to make her Mom". We JUST went through this last night. Yeah, I do, b/c you don't get that if she doesn't do THIS call? She won't do ANY call. But he doesn't get it/doesn't want to go through the WORK of a relationship. Doesn't matter if it's a wife, or a child. DD is a LOT of work.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 07:20 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	ssmom79	06/26/11 01:15 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	cincsu	06/22/11 02:31 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/22/11 04:51 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Cassie23	06/22/11 12:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 12:06 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 01:48 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	DedicatedDad	06/22/11 01:06 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Cassie23	06/22/11 01:01 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 10:47 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/23/11 10:53 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	LexieBelle	06/23/11 11:09 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 11:12 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	LexieBelle	06/23/11 12:06 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 10:55 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/23/11 05:20 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 07:02 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/24/11 01:17 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/23/11 07:52 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	finz	06/25/11 01:27 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/25/11 08:18 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	finz	06/25/11 09:34 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/26/11 12:13 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	c_jane	06/26/11 01:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/26/11 03:11 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/25/11 03:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Goodmom	06/25/11 04:37 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/25/11 04:42 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/25/11 07:17 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/25/11 07:33 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/25/11 07:42 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/25/11 07:55 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 09:01 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/24/11 01:21 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/24/11 07:27 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/24/11 03:50 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Arden	06/25/11 09:46 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/25/11 10:57 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Arden	06/25/11 11:48 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/24/11 04:37 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/24/11 04:53 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/24/11 05:01 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/24/11 05:12 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/24/11 06:18 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/24/11 06:52 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	SweetLight	06/24/11 10:49 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	c_jane	06/24/11 09:52 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/24/11 07:13 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	DedicatedDad	06/24/11 08:34 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/24/11 04:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/23/11 09:30 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	SRS	06/23/11 08:08 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/23/11 08:48 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/24/11 01:18 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/23/11 11:42 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 11:47 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 07:26 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 07:34 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 07:41 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 07:37 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	SRS	06/21/11 07:32 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 07:41 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	SRS	06/21/11 07:47 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 07:51 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:02 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:14 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:27 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:16 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:28 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:35 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:39 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 08:11 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:36 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:39 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 08:48 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Goodmom	06/21/11 08:59 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:05 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Goodmom	06/21/11 09:26 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:30 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 09:41 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:43 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 08:17 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Cassie23	06/22/11 12:00 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 12:04 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 01:46 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/22/11 08:39 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 01:44 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	nursemom	06/22/11 02:27 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 03:49 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Redlegg	06/22/11 04:04 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/22/11 05:39 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 06:07 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/23/11 10:40 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 08:47 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/22/11 09:15 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	greeneyes	06/22/11 09:35 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 10:03 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Goodmom	06/22/11 05:39 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	M5M5	06/22/11 01:40 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/22/11 07:16 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	Tweeby	06/22/11 07:50 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	SRS	06/22/11 12:38 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/22/11 12:50 AM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 10:32 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 09:15 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	momof489	06/21/11 09:23 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:24 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 09:21 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	DedicatedDad	06/21/11 09:25 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	Goodmom	06/21/11 09:28 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	DedicatedDad	06/21/11 09:30 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:34 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:11 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	SRS	06/21/11 07:59 PM
Re: shared parenting not working	gr8Dad	06/21/11 08:10 PM

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