BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3051
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Re: "Standard Visitation" in VA
07/30/11 08:08 AM
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While I'd agree, DedicatedDad, that this poster has the RIGHT to find a new physician, in my opinion, that would be the equivalent of firing the first shot and guarantees a war. And in finding a new physician, are normal routine things going to be repeated? Annual checkups, etc?
If his own primary doctor will see the child on an as needed basis, then it's all good. If not? Not much he can do about it -- and note that the original post specified that he is not the insurance provider for the child, the BM's husband is -- without that insurance information, he'd have to pay the bill in cash. Even if he knew who the child went to now, I don't think that they can give him the insurance information.
Less combative than simply finding another physician, he can ask that this information be provided to him and take it back to court, pro se, and ask that she be held in contempt for not providing it.
I'm a f irm believer in coparenting and there are many people out there that manage to do exactly that and do it effectively. There are others determined to turn this adversarial and sometimes, there's just not much that can be done about it. Hence my belief in choosing carefully, the hills you want to die on. If my ex had been the primary residential parent to my children, I'd want to know about checkups, etc. but absent chronic medical conditions, what is there to say about an annual checkup? My kids used to spend the entire summers with their dad **they're grown and moved out** If they needed medical care, he took them and got it. Maybe he called me and let me know, maybe he didn't -- I think I recall one time that he let me know he'd taken one of the kids to the doctor -- some kind of viral illness, I think. Not a big deal, actually. I see people fighting about this all the time here -- if the kid is in an ER, the other parent wants to know right flipping NOW. Most things that kids go to an ER for are not life threatening. Sore throats, cuts, scrapes, bumps, bruises, insect bites -- hardly going to end anyone's life and I don't see what the big deal is. Serious things? Hit by a car, larger scale trauma -- okay, call the other parent. Broke their wrist or ankle falling off a skateboard? It HAPPENS. Doesn't mean that anyone was negligent, means that it can happen on either parent's watch --
Anyway, back to the topic -- I suppose that the OP could put the child on their insurance and find them a doc for when the child is with them. I think that'll cause some major issues since the child would then be double covered with insurance with no way to determine who their primary insurer is. That would turn into a huge mess.
I'm all for standing up and getting the information that you're entitled to, make no mistake. But if it can be done in a non-confrontational, antagonizing way, I think that's the better way to go.
Just me, obviously.
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