My daughter is involved in a child custody case. the soon to be ex husband is causing all sorts of problems not just for my daughter but for the whole family.
in december of 2010 my daughter decided to leave the relationship after just a few months. I had to call the police to be there because he refused to allow my daughter to leave. He stabbed himself with a cooking fork and accused my daughter of stabbing him. the police report states the wound was self inflicted. on the advice of the police, we left without my daughters belongings.
My daughter was pregnant at that time, gave birth to baby girl May 23, 2011.
Since December, my daughter has tried to avoid him as much as possible. other then in court, she has not had any contact with him. although he has been seen driving by our house, and even admits in court that he parked his car on our street. he has shown up at my daughters bank harassing her, and has gone to my daughters work making threats to her co-workers. we made a police report about the above and was told that he had not broken the law, that it is not considered stalking.
as it got closer to her delivery date (she was due june 10) more problems started. he had my daughter served with court papers. he wanted full custody of the baby, no visitation allowed to my daughter, a DNA test done, cause he stated he wasn't even sure the baby was his, and he even went as far as to ask the courts to order the hospitals' to withhold the baby from my daughter. he had no idea that the baby was born early and was shocked when he learned.
The judge ordered mediation for them both. the mediator recommended a 730 evaluation to be done. it was not ordered by the courts because both attorneys stated that it was too expensive. the judge ordered the soon to be ex husband to make all arrangements for the DNA test, but his attorney stated that he did not have the money. my daughters attorney tried to argue that visitation should not be allowed until paternity could be verified.
the judge granted him supervised visitations 2 hours 3 times a week. these visits last anywhere from 3 minutes to 40 minutes. as soon as the baby is handed to him, she starts to cry/scream. at the beginning of each visit is asked not to give the baby a bottle or a pacifier or the visits will be terminated (the baby is breastfeed). he feels is is beyond rules. He continues to try and give the baby a pacifier stating that is attorney has told him he can. The baby does not like a pacifier, and refuses it, but he will hold it in her mouth. the visits are then terminated by the supervisor. the last two visits have lasted a total of 3 minutes. he is now telling the person who supervises these visits that he is going to sue her with contempt of court.
I am not allowed to be there during the visitation because he filed a restraining order against me accusing me of threatening his life with a 9 mm gun. I do not own any type of firearm. He also filed a restraining order against my husband stating that he also is threatening his life and the life of his mother.
In July both he and his mother were arrested for burglary, she spent 4 days in a county jail, he set bail and goes to court in just a few weeks. doing online research, we have learned that he has filed a total of 8 restraining orders on people.
Because of his behavior during the visits my daughter has asked her attorney to get the visitations stopped, her attorney states that there is nothing that can be done until the November hearing. I find it very difficult to believe that nothing can be done.
this man and his mother is causing a great deal of stress not just for my daughter, but the baby as well as other family members. The baby is showing signs of stress, her eating and sleeping patterns have changed this past several weeks, she does not want to be put down and wants to nurse off mommy almost nonstop.
yesterday while shopping at a local store he went up to family members and was making accusation. it got so bad that they had to reported it to the store manager. my elderly father is very upset and I fear for his health. it is at a point where we do not want to leave the house, not knowing what he will do or accuse one of us of doing.
both he and his mother are manipulative compulsive liars who enjoy hurting others. I am not the only person who believes that he has no interest in the baby, but is using her as a pawn to hurt my daughter.
Today my daughter recieved a letter from her lawyer that was sent from his lawyer stating again even more lies.
My question is.. what can we do, what can my daughter do?