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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714

Re: To answer your question Annieo...

12/05/11 06:32 AM

I believe that the OP's husband has to work on HIS relationship with his daughter FIRST before the SM can work on hers. His daughter needs to know that her father
love for her will not change just because he is married and the OP and SM now have a baby together (I believe she said they have a 10 month old).

Since the SD8 has a poor relationship with her own BM we do not know what the BM is saying when the child is with her or speaks to her. My SD's BM came up with all sorts of stories about me and my relationship with H and even went as far as to say that we had a baby together to push SD aside. That H will no longer love my SD as he did because he now has son. There may be some animosity from the child to the Step because she feels her Dad now has to share his time with her, SM and their new child together?

Once Dad gets right with daughter and she knows where he stands then they need to work on SD8 respect to her SM and siblings as well as other people in general. Once her SD knows the rules and consequences then I think it will be easier for SM to work on her relationship with SD8.

I also think as EM suggested having house rules with CLEAR cut consequences written and HUNG up in the house would help. That way if SD (or any child) CHOOSES to BREAK a rule the consequence is in black and white. I feel like a reward system, especially at her age, could be beneficial. She could have a list of small chores to accomplish (giving her confidence as she completes them and sees the gold stars going up). I would also have a spot on the chart for "How was your day today?" Where she is able to take either a sad face, so so face or a happy face and stick it on the board. This gives her a chance to express her feelings as well as gives the parents the chance to discuss and listen to how her day went and why she is sad or so-so or happy! Worked for my kids- they loved their reward chart!!

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/04/11 09:47 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	DedicatedDad	12/04/11 01:59 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 07:17 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	LexieBelle	12/04/11 02:26 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	DedicatedDad	12/04/11 03:17 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	LexieBelle	12/04/11 10:06 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Cassie23	12/05/11 06:32 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 07:28 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Miranda	12/05/11 07:50 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 08:45 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	elliesmom	12/05/11 09:37 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	SRS	12/05/11 02:02 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	M5M5	12/05/11 05:47 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	SRS	12/05/11 07:34 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	M5M5	12/06/11 04:05 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	gr8Dad	12/05/11 02:15 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	elliesmom	12/05/11 02:37 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	M5M5	12/05/11 05:50 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Sherron	12/05/11 02:20 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 02:46 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Sherron	12/05/11 02:50 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 02:55 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	SweetLight	12/05/11 09:52 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	M5M5	12/06/11 04:09 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	SRS	12/05/11 04:23 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/05/11 10:26 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Cassie23	12/05/11 09:32 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Spring	12/04/11 07:37 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Spring	12/04/11 07:55 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	DedicatedDad	12/04/11 09:20 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Spring	12/04/11 09:47 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	spinnerdegrassi	12/04/11 03:48 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	LexieBelle	12/04/11 11:09 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	elliesmom	12/04/11 11:47 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	lizk0114	12/04/11 12:20 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	c_jane	12/04/11 11:42 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Miranda	12/04/11 12:15 PM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	Tweeby	12/04/11 10:45 AM
Re: To answer your question Annieo...	spinnerdegrassi	12/04/11 09:57 AM

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