Divorce Source: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)

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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680

OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)

12/28/11 01:33 PM

Posted for discussion and debate.. too quiet around here ;)

Parties: Children..girls.. age 5 and 6.

Situation: 6 yr old girl gives 5 yr old girl a gift for Christmas. No problem. Til about 2 hours later, gift giving child wants gift BACK. Situation addressed by moms of both girls at the time. (actually unusually strong intervention on the part of the gift giving/taking back child's mom).

Situation thought to be resolved, until next day, 5 yr old child, as soon as they come home from school, retrieves said gift and puts in backpack. When asked why, states that the gift giving child REALLY wants to the gift back and that child won't be friends anymore if gift is NOT given back.

5 yr old is calm/okay about it.. having been convinced the gift is "special" to the giver and they don't want to lose a friend.

Question: As a parent, do you ALLOW the gift recipient to RETURN the gift to the child who gave it? If you DO allow it, do you address the issue with the gift giving child at all?

Discuss....

---------------------------------------------------------
Yes, this is real world.. Yes, this is my daughter and one of her friends.

Yes, the situation has already been handled.

Yes, I DID allow the return of the gift.

YES, I dealt with the gift giving/reneging child this morning when the gift was returned.

I let her know in NO uncertain terms that her behavior was completely unacceptable and she should consider herself VERY lucky that she had a friend as gracious as dd, who would allow a gift given, to be taken back, just b/c giver had a change of (selfish) heart.

I also warned her if she EVER pulled that again with my daughter, my daughter would NOT be socializing with her outside what was absolutely necessary b/c they happen to be in the same grade (and currently, same class).

For the record? This child has a HABIT of having tantrums and BULLYING dd into doing what she wants dd to do. Also has a habit of telling dd "I don't care" all.the.time. VERY.. umm.... disrespectful child. Nothing blatant.. just looks, attitude... sneaky little brat.

If dd was going to give the toy back? Wasn't going to be without my having something to say about it.

I will also say, I'm not SURE that I did the right thing? I think the behavior on the part of the girl sucks. I'm not sure dd should have given the gift back at all. I HATE teaching her that she should give in to someone else's emotional blackmail.. HATE it.. particularly given it's a natural part of her personality TO be like that. I really really do NOT want to reinforce it. So I'm debating if I should have told her she could NOT return the item.

I'm less concerned about whether I should have said something to the other little girl. I wasn't mean or anything. But she knew I was pissed. She knows me well enough to know my looks, know my tone of voice and I made it CRYSTAL clear she couldn't be any lower on my shyt list if she tried.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 01:33 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	gr8Dad	12/29/11 11:34 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 01:41 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	onerose	12/29/11 02:32 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Loretta	12/29/11 11:46 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 02:02 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/29/11 02:23 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 02:49 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Loretta	12/29/11 03:18 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 03:32 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Loretta	12/29/11 07:26 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 09:40 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	elliesmom	01/03/12 05:05 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Cassie23	12/29/11 11:59 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Goodmom	12/29/11 06:10 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Gecko	12/28/11 05:56 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	youngatheart	12/28/11 03:30 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Debi	12/28/11 04:33 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	youngatheart	12/28/11 04:56 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 05:42 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Cassie23	12/28/11 05:58 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 03:46 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LeAnne	12/28/11 04:08 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 04:30 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	youngatheart	12/28/11 04:02 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	javajunkiee	12/28/11 04:22 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/29/11 07:56 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 08:17 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 06:19 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	javajunkiee	12/28/11 06:33 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 07:20 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Miranda	12/28/11 06:55 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 08:01 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	spinnerdegrassi	12/28/11 06:24 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Reilly	12/28/11 04:43 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 03:49 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 05:46 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 05:49 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 06:29 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Tweeby	12/28/11 06:56 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 07:36 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Tweeby	12/28/11 07:47 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 11:45 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 03:39 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Loretta	12/28/11 02:24 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:32 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:36 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:39 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:44 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:10 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/28/11 02:00 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:18 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Debi	12/28/11 01:59 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:26 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Spring	12/28/11 02:33 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:46 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Cassie23	12/28/11 03:30 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Cassie23	12/28/11 03:27 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 03:39 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/29/11 07:49 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 03:47 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:30 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:37 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:39 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:43 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:49 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:54 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/28/11 03:03 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/28/11 03:01 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/28/11 01:48 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 02:12 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	SRS	12/28/11 02:19 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	BeckaLeigh	12/28/11 08:39 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/28/11 09:32 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	BeckaLeigh	12/28/11 09:48 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	DedicatedDad	12/28/11 11:25 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	BeckaLeigh	12/29/11 12:01 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	DedicatedDad	12/29/11 10:19 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/29/11 10:34 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	DedicatedDad	12/29/11 11:29 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	ssmom79	12/29/11 01:40 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	LexieBelle	12/29/11 11:34 AM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	DedicatedDad	12/28/11 02:23 PM
Re: OT: Christmas - asking for a gift back (Debate)	Reilly	12/28/11 01:39 PM

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