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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah

Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2011

Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old

01/04/12 08:13 PM

You said:

------> It would be best if they do. The younger she is the LESS traumatic it will be not more.

My response:

That may have been the case for YOUR child. Overnights were FAR MORE traumatic for my youngest when my ex and I first split, which was when she was 3. She's 10 now and has no issues with overnights anymore. In fact, when we started doing the overnights, we had to back off from 2 overnights EOW to one overnight EOW. And it took her YEARS to get to the point she is now.

The OP knows her toddler better than any of us here and has a better idea of what the child can handle or not.

You said:

----My x and I divorced when our youngest was 3. We had 50/50 from day one. I'm ot sure why it would be graduated. It seems that would be more confusing to a child than starting frmo the beginning.

My response:

A graduated plan, especially if the child is very young like the OP's is, is very good for kids to get used to a new arrangement. It's less change all at once. And IF the child can handle 50/50, not every child can, it will help tremendously if it is gradual instead of right off the bat. Unless both parents were heavily involved in childcare, that is.

You said:

---> Actually it's usually the parents (or one parent) that has an issue with 50/50 more so than the kids.

My response:

Actually, it's the CHILD that has the harder time adjusting. Especially the younger they are. It's not the parents who are going back and forth. It's the child.

You said:

Your child is young and she will adjust much more quickly than you do.

My response:

You have absolutely no idea how her child will adjust. You don't know her child or her child's personality. She's the expert on her child, not you.

You said:

A lot of parents make the mistake of thinking it's not best for the kids when it's really not what the parent wants.

My response:

And a lot of parents make the mistake of forcing a 50/50 situation on a child who can't handle it.

You said:

I have had 11 years of experience with 50/50 placement.

My response:

Bully for you. Doesn't mean that her child is anything like your kids are. Or can handle the same situation as your kids do.

You said:

My kids have thrived having a real relationship with both parents.

My response:

I don't have 50/50 and my kids are thriving and have a good relationship with both parents. It doesn't have to be 50/50 to have a "real" relationship with a parent.

BTW, had we started out with 50/50, my youngest would not be doing as well as she is now.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	onmyown5	01/02/12 12:09 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	c_jane	01/06/12 11:01 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Maury	01/06/12 04:04 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/06/12 03:56 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/06/12 03:48 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/06/12 12:17 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	annieo	01/06/12 11:24 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/06/12 12:20 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/06/12 12:27 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/06/12 12:41 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/06/12 12:46 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/06/12 01:20 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/06/12 01:25 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/06/12 10:23 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Debi	01/03/12 09:34 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/05/12 02:42 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/05/12 05:31 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Goodmom	01/04/12 08:13 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Debi	01/06/12 08:36 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/06/12 09:25 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/09/12 12:22 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	finz	01/16/12 11:27 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/17/12 07:05 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/19/12 03:45 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/19/12 03:51 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	dadinva	01/19/12 10:35 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Renny	01/20/12 09:47 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	dadinva	01/20/12 10:00 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	dadinva	01/20/12 10:05 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Goodmom	01/20/12 05:43 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Renny	01/20/12 10:24 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	dadinva	01/20/12 10:33 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/20/12 05:58 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/20/12 06:16 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	annieo	01/21/12 12:42 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/22/12 05:16 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Goodmom	01/23/12 05:14 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/23/12 11:22 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/23/12 11:55 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/23/12 12:33 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/22/12 05:38 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/20/12 10:00 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/09/12 12:02 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/10/12 11:57 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/10/12 12:02 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/11/12 04:32 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/11/12 05:02 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	youngatheart	01/11/12 09:40 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/12/12 10:28 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/12/12 03:07 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/12/12 04:34 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/12/12 06:58 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	RJ1	01/12/12 07:40 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	youngatheart	01/12/12 08:37 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/12/12 10:38 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/13/12 12:04 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 06:55 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	c_jane	01/13/12 08:10 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	youngatheart	01/13/12 08:40 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/13/12 08:50 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 09:57 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/13/12 05:37 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 05:59 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/13/12 07:34 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/13/12 09:57 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/13/12 11:07 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/14/12 05:38 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/16/12 03:14 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	javajunkiee	01/15/12 06:20 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/14/12 09:51 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/13/12 03:13 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	youngatheart	01/13/12 10:20 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 11:07 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	youngatheart	01/13/12 02:09 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/13/12 11:46 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 02:08 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Renny	01/13/12 11:30 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/13/12 03:22 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/13/12 04:21 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/13/12 06:28 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/12/12 11:01 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/12/12 06:16 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	ssmom79	01/12/12 05:50 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/12/12 04:50 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/12/12 11:56 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	SRS	01/12/12 11:13 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/11/12 07:05 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/11/12 07:23 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Eve	01/11/12 09:02 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/11/12 11:51 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Sherron	01/11/12 09:28 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/11/12 09:20 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	SRS	01/09/12 06:39 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	M5M5	01/09/12 12:47 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/04/12 09:11 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/04/12 10:04 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 09:17 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/05/12 09:37 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 10:19 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/05/12 02:25 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 08:03 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/05/12 09:02 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 09:04 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/05/12 10:23 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/06/12 07:57 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/06/12 12:19 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/05/12 08:08 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 08:39 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/05/12 08:43 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 09:03 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	DedicatedDad	01/05/12 11:00 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	LexieBelle	01/05/12 02:23 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	SRS	01/02/12 05:48 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/02/12 02:47 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Renny	01/02/12 06:19 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	SRS	01/02/12 06:47 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	Renny	01/02/12 08:35 PM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	CAFamilyLaw44	01/03/12 01:08 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	gr8Dad	01/03/12 06:28 AM
Re: Typical overnights for under 2-year-old	garnet	01/02/12 02:10 PM

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