M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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SS's College Issues - vent
01/12/12 05:36 PM
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SS18 is in his freshman year at college, in on a soccer scholarship. SD told us last night (btw, she's coming over again now...since right before Christmas) that SS called his mom on Tuesday (he returned to school on Monday from break) and told her he was pulled into the "office" and told he had to come up with 8K by Friday to continue to go to school there. He was freaking out. HE wanted to just drop out and come home. BM is scrambling around, calling admissions, calling FAFSA and others trying to figure out what to do. THEN SD tells us that she "thinks" that his soccer scholarship hasn't come in for the year yet, and neither has anything else.
Wow. All this time, I figured BM had paid what was lacking after his soccer scholarship (he only got 9K for that because he sat on his butt too long before graciously "accepting" the school AND he left EVERYTHING up to BM to accomplish..which she FAILED at). The school cost 29K. I'm just so confused...how this could have happened? SD only knows what she heard...so she has hardly any details. SS isn't talking to DH about it (last we heard, he told DH he was going to take out student loans for his second semester and his mom gives him the same amt she gives SD a week; $20/week to live on). He has told us several times since the summer that the finances were taken care of already.
And honestly, the boy is struggling with being an adult. He still wants mommy to do everything for him. He won't even clean up after himself (found out he and his English roommate got into it because of his nastiness). He won't work. All he wants to do is party with his friends...HIGH SCHOOL friends mostly...he keeps trying to come home...like every weekend (he is about 2 hours away). He was Mr. Popularity in HS and ....college is a whole different ball of wax. He was the soccer star in HS...now he has real competition. Anyway...he's really struggling.
So...I don't know what's going to happen. We don't have 8K and I dare say BM doesn't' either. They sold their RV last summer (that's why I thought she paid the rest of his schooling), but it seems they've already blown thru that money. We told SS to do what his brother does...sit down every Nov-January and fill out scholarship stuff...I mean, SS20 gets almost 30K a year, $25 is for his "free ride" to school from FAFSA. He pockets the rest (spends it on going out to eat all the time after his books are paid...and this money is coming from places like McDonalds, Regal, etc...and all he did was essays to get them). SS18 won't make the time to do that stuff and BM isn't either. Ugh.
He hasn't came to us for help, and I'm not sure he will, honestly. He has to know we don't have that kind of money and even if we did? We probably wouldn't pay it because this is HIS fault....for leaving so much up to BM, for not getting off his butt and doing all he could to finance this, for practically ignoring us for 5 months (BM wouldnt let him come over any of the times he was home from school...yeah, it's that bad...he told me on Christmas Eve that he wanted freedom and I told him right back that it was in his hands, that he is ALLOWING Bm to control his life..oh, but he doesn't' want to give up his phone. BAER).
I told DH that unless something major changes, Mr. Golden Child would not be welcome to live with us, ever. I will not go after an old adult man, cleaning up after him and catering to his ever need and whim bc he's lazy. Boy needs to grow up.
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