Holding_on_2
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Reged: 02/03/12
Posts: 1
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Re: Is separation a good thing?
02/03/12 05:51 PM
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Hello everyone, I'm joined this forum because I am three months into a "trial separation" and it was thrust upon me, not by choice mind you, when my wife decided to move back to her parents house in California (we were living in Chicago) with my 2 1/2 year old little girl. The verdict is out on whether or not it is a good thing or not. We have continued to see each other (I fly back every other week or so) we still make love, and I believe we are being faithful to one another. My hope still lives that we will be able to resolve our issues and get back together someday, soon I hope. I have so much to say about this I can write for days on it. I guess I will simplify and shorten it to the best of my ability. We were fighting A LOT! I felt she was shirking her responsibilities as a wife and mother and she tired from me constantly grinding on her. We were caught in a vortex no doubt about it!! Well...it finally blew out. We've been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 3 1/2. We lost our business, had a child, and moved to a new city all within a short window of time and the pressures of all of it really took its toll on us. She became very distant, facebooking all the time, texting her friends and I suddenly went from the KING of her world to the lowly pack mule (that's how I felt). Well since she's been gone I have made very positive changes to my life and so has she. I have gotten totally sober (we partied a lot), have taken up working out, created a spiritual regiment for myself, and I'm getting stronger by the day. She has stabilized emotionally, has become a better mother to my daughter, and has lost A LOT of the anxiety she was experiencing as a result of living in the pressure cooker of our relationship. Those are the good parts...Now for the bad...I am questioning my trust for her more than I ever have, I don't know if I will ever get over the fact that she abandoned me (emotionally while she was with me) and then physically when she moved away at a time when I needed her the most (what happened to "in good times and in bad"), disrupted the relationship I have with my daughter without a second thought, and I question whether I can ever TRULY believe in her again, regardless to how well we are individually. I also struggle with serious resentment and what seems to me to be a form of polite pretending when we do talk with one another. I know that I have done things wrong in our relationship but deep in my heart I am having a tough time believing in this method of dealing with our issues. I do however remain hopeful. So will it work??? God I hope so! I hope this helps...
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