BlueGoldgirl
journeyman
Reged: 12/30/06
Posts: 56
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Re: Summer Vacation - need guidance
03/22/12 03:07 PM
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Thank you all for responding and sharing your thoughts and experiences. I value them all.
Our previous order was not changed re: summer vacation time. What comes into play that is rather interesting is a section in our order which says that every year, if there is a conflict in vacation time requests, one parent's request prevails over the other. This is an even year, so I am the parent that gets to go on the vacation dates I want if there is a conflict. Next year my ex will have priority. We must have our vacation requests in to each other by 6/15 of every year.
In the past, my ex has used this portion of the clause to "trump me" - as he called it. He waited for me to let him know which vacations dates I wanted, and then he said "No" - those dates conflict with what I want. He would end up not taking our dd on a vacation, but just wanted to ensure that I had to change my plans. You can ask the counselors at the local summer camp where our dd was for her "vacation" week with dad while he worked. It was all about making me change my plans. That was okay once I got used to his pattern. Then in years that I did not have priority, I would just ask for a week that I knew I really did not want. He would do his predictable "you can't have it" and I would gladly take a week that he did not earmark as his. The week I really wanted :)
The math tells me that our dd has nine weeks of vacation. It also tells me that neither of us can have both of our three week periods of time (say if we both request vacation time on the other parent's week) each summer. To head this off I want to work with him.
Dad and dd attend therapy. I reached out to the therapist (with her permission). She said what usually happens is the schedule is adjusted so that it does not happen that either parent has three wks in a row. She said often people take summer out of sequence and adjust according to the vacation schedule, and get back on track in the summer. And before anyone says she does not know what she is talking about...I will just say that she is very well known...and if she can make Britney Spears and Alec Baldwin better parents...she can work wonders. I truly hope we can parent together to make summer great for our daughter.
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