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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942

OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM

05/11/12 09:52 AM

I have taken your advise, and have been avoiding any situation that places me near or the potential to have to interact with BM or the kids right now. As I told H the other night, my sanity, emotional and psychological well being are my priority. I am skating on very thin ice right now, and will not subject myself to a situation that could do more damage to my already fragile self esteem. I have not attended any of gs's games the past two weeks. I am either in therapy or just don't go. Besides he only "growls" at H when he sees him, and doesn't even care if I am there or not. The gkids usually don't interact with us/me, they cling to BM. That's fine, they spend most of their time with her anyway. I will no longer feel I am not part of the family. I am NOT responsible for BM's lack of self esteem, I do not have the power to make her feel bad b/c she isn't going to be involved in SS air force graduation. The nephews are doing the "pinning" and the dinner is for spouses. I will no longer stay in the room when the girls start talking about how bad their mom feels. I will change the subject or walk away. MY mental health is more important. H has been a rock, concerned especially after the "suicide" discussion we had last week. And I told him to lock up the guns and take the keys. Not that I would EVER consider it, or take action. That as the therapist said is an angry and selfish action for a long term problem. I have been having melt downs and panic attacks the last week. Found out it was stopping the meds. Am now on Xanax for panic and lexapro for depression. I pray to GOD this works, and that I will get the tools I need to get past my feelings of guilt, etc. H has been understanding, and I worried that he would "leave me" after hearing that his ex had given him hell when he didn't take her seriously when she "threatened" suicide herself. Cry wolf so many times, people don't listen. He told me that if I need him to take me somewhere, I need to tell him. He is not going anywhere. He is in this relationship for the long haul. I am grateful for his understanding and sticking by me.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM	Char9	05/11/12 09:52 AM
Re: OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM	Buckeye	05/11/12 11:19 AM
Re: OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM	annieo	05/11/12 12:17 PM

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