M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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WTH!
07/03/12 03:43 PM
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Ok, what do you say to your 17 yr old daughter when she is asking questions about memories she has that are warped? SD is at a Christian youth camp and she sent DH a letter wanting to know about some things in her past. She wants to know why she isn't his priority, why she was called selfish for so long and that she still remembers the bruises left on her from the belt and the cut on her head from a spatula. I guess she doesn't remember the details...but the way she phrased all this, makes DH sound like he abused her. Um, she was the favored daughter and hardly ever got spanked...NONE of them got spanked often or even disciplined at all (which caused alot of our earlier fights).
Take the spatula incident...she was about 6...DH hit a cabinet door with it (out of frustration) and it flew out of his hand, backwards and hit her in the head. Left a scratch because it broke when he hit it. He didn't throw it at her. But, I remember her going to her moms and telling her about it and all of a sudden, it was intentional (bc he was accused of it in a court pleading). The bruises from a belt? Never happened. She got spanked with the belt, she moved and it hit her legs instead of the belt and it left a red mark, but not a bruise (and the mark disappeared that same day...btw, that was only the second time she had been spanked with the belt by her dad and it was also the last because he was upset that he got her legs instead of her rear end). She WAS called selfish...by me back when she was refusing to come over or have anything to do with this side of her family. And she was and IS selfish. All kids are.
Anyway. DH doesn't know about the letter yet...because he's not home from work yet. He is going to be upset though...heart broken really. Because...is that really how she remembers things? I know her mom's had 7 years (actually longer if you include the weekend visits) to put that crap into her head. Not sure why she doesn't think she is a priority with him...all his kids are his priority. And then she was all like "I forgive you for everything you've ever done and I love you".
Wonder if she sent her mom a letter with all the bad things that she did to her? She was spanked with the belt by her mom and SF, she was told not to speak to us or she would be spanked, she was withheld from DH for almost 2 years, was told to not even look at him at games or she would get it, etc.
I was really ticked off when I first read the letter. But now that I've had a couple hours to think about it...if that's what she really remembers....then I'm just sad, because things did not happen like she is saying or insinuating they did.
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