stacey30
old hand
Reged: 11/27/05
Posts: 962
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Re: Need advice
03/04/06 11:33 AM
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I was responsible for D 90% of the time. If she was sick, then it was my responsibility to stay home with her. I revolved my work around her.
I could never depend on stbx to be home in time for me to go to work at night. Always had to depend on my mom.
We were also separated more than we were apart during our marriage.
And when he was home, he was constantly on the computer working.
The house was never picked up enough for him. One time I was organizing the kitchen cabinets with D at my feet coloring. She was 2 at the time. I was so psyched for stbx to come home and see it. You know what I got instead? He decided to take pictures of the "huge mess" that I had created in the process of cleaning out the cubboards! He had a bad day at work and decided to take it out on me.
He thought that the pictures would prove something in court.
I never got help with cleaning. I asked him once while I had to burden most of the responsibility.
He told me "Well you are the mom!"
My point is....
The judge gave him every Tues. and Wed. night, in addition to EOW, even though he was never around during marriage.
My point is sometimes if the husband says he can do 2-nights, 3-nights, etc., than the judge will grant it. My stbx now has flexibility and never did before!
What amazes me...
If I had to go back to work full-time 9-5, then D would be without me from Tues. mornings until Thursday nights and then again on Friday mornings until Sunday night.
I was told though that the judge ordered what he wanted just because she comes to work with me. However, D is having a hard time transitioning, espcially at nights.
On his weekends, she comes back and ask why I was gone so long. On his weekends, I tell D mommy has to work so can not be with her. It seems to help her a lot. She does not think that me leaving her has anything to do with me not wanting her.
He is lucky that D formed an incredible bond with him, considering he was never there most of her life. I am grateful for this. If she hadn't or had to work away from her, than think it would be harder on me.
However, I know a lot of mom's staying in horrible marriages so they do not have to be apart from their kids.
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