buzby25
recently joined
Reged: 04/27/05
Posts: 1
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In NJ. Question on dating recent separated man
04/27/05 09:36 PM
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[color:blue] [/color] I'm in NJ & don't know where to go to find answers. Appx. 1 month ago, I began dating a man who had separated from his wife. They were married for a number of years, but had numerous problems/issues. They have 1 child, aged 7. He had been "kicked out" 3 times previously, and after #4, he decided he does not want to go back (prior to meeting me). He's been out of the home for 3 months now, but she alternates between asking him to come back one day & fighting with him to get his things out of the house the next day. We have not slept together yet, but I'm concerned because she hired someone to follow him. He noticed the individual on several occasions, and finally was able to maneuver a confrontation with the gentleman, who admitted that my friend's wife hired him to do the following about a month ago. We're concerned, because we're not sure if she could claim adultery, because we've kissed and hugged in public & done some "heavy petting" in the car (yeah, I know, tacky, but what's done is done). He's saving $ to pay a divorce attorney, but it will be a while before he can come up with the retainer, because in addition to giving her money to support their daughter, he's also paying the mortgage & bills on their home, even though he's not living there. He's an honorable man and wants to make sure his daughter is taken care of, so he does it, even without a court order. Can she use this against him as "adultery"? Is he allowed to date/have a relationship since they're living in separate residences? Do we need to stop seeing each other? Can ANYONE give me some advice? I don't want to stop seeing this man, but I don't want to cause him any problems in his divorce either...his daughter is at stake in all this, and I believe that she is the most important issue. Is there anywhere on the web where I can get this info in writing? Can anyone advise? [color:blue] [/color] [color:blue] [/color] Someone, PLEASE help!
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