tobemeagain
recently joined
Reged: 05/22/06
Posts: 7
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Finally Settlement Reached
09/05/06 08:24 AM
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My STBX finally listened to his attorney and agreed on the settlement I had asked for. After many months of battling, arguing, going over discoveries and everything else, he finally listened to the facts that if he didn't agree to what I was asking for then the Judge would most likely grant me much more than I was asking, so he settled. We have both signed the settlement papers, I have received my money, we have only to have the whole thing go before the judge for finalization of it all and wait out the 31 days for the divorce to be final.
My father is very unhappy with me as I didn't "take my STBX to the wall" for what I could legally get. I tried to explain to my family that I need to try and get what I feel is fair for me, but I am not out to be vindictive. I will not feel any better about anything, it won't make it go away or bring things back to how they used to be if I get the property or if it has to be sold for him to pay me. I know what I put into this marriage financailly and what he put into it. There is no need expecting him to pay financially for the pain and hurt I have experienced. No amount of money will make that go away, or justify it. I am the one who has to look myself in the eye every morning, and I always said I will live my life in a manner so that I am able to do that every morning.
Everyone else thinks I should be ready to celebrate... I won.... I beat him down.... "he got his".... and I can't seem to make them understand that this isn't a cause for celebration. This is not a fight that I wanted to be victorious in.
My STBX ended up being a habitual RX drug abuser - he ordered and received multiple pain killers, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills and the like - using them in combinations that made him non functional, hearing voices, halucinating, and very close to being physically abusive.
So, now my dreams of being with the man I loved and building a life together are gone, and I have some money to help me along for a while, and I don't feel like celebrating, and they just don't get it.
Thanks for letting me vent.... I'm sure some people here will be able to relate to the lack of excitment experienced upon "winning". There really is no winner in these situations, some people just don't get that.
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