tandert
recently joined
Reged: 02/01/07
Posts: 4
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I'm a terrible person.......
02/01/07 05:41 PM
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So, I don't really even know where to begin, or what to expect. I got married at 18. I am now 21 and I have been selfish and wanting to experience life. But of course I am married and it's wrong that I flirt and see other people.
Let me start a little more from the beginning....
we knew each other for 2 years before we got married. he is from Germany and his visa was running out and so we decided that we should just get married instead of waiting. He has never had a girlfriend before and therefore never had any experience sexually. I didn't expect him to be great of course but I soon got tired of holding his hand, telling him every step. After a year I started hating sex. We argued and I stopped communicating. He over-communicated. There is absolutely no intimacy between us. We haven't had sex in 4 months and I can barely stand the site of him. He constantly tells me he loves me and that I am beautiful but I feel nothing. I get annoyed when he tells me actually. Before I was married I was overweight. Then I lost 100lbs before and while we were married. So now I am getting attention I never had before and being the selfish ass I am right now I love it. So to make a long story short I went to a bar on the Bears game. He was going to come with me but didn't want to stay. I stayed there by myself and guys started offering to buy me drinks and I ended up going home with one. And now we are seeing each other. But I know that he is not a long term guy because he is an ass but he is absolutely incredible in bed. I told my husband and being the passive person he is he said he forgave me and doesn't want a divorce. But I am not sure what I want and whether or not the marriage is worth saving. Yes he has a lot of great qualities but I feel nothing for him. And I am not sure how I can get that feeling back. I really have been enjoying being flirty and the attention. I'm not saying I want to go out and sleep with everyone but I do want to go out on dates and be 21! I really have no clue on what to do. I know what I want but it might not be the right thing. If anyone can give me some suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.
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