Okay, I sit here at work, emotionally drained, and running on automatic, with about 3 hours sleep over the last two days.
Apparently, our oldest daughter (I will call her "C"), whom I have never been able to bond with (she simply does not want anyone in her life but her mother), told her friend that I have choked her (demonstrated with both hands around her neck), grabbed her arms leaving bruises on her, and beat her with a belt so hard I left bruises all over her backside and legs.
Of course (and without ANY blame from me, she should have), the friend ran to her mother and told her. Her mother is a friend of my wife. Mother called my wife. We took the child to the family therapist.
Before I go any further, let me say that NONE of what she has said is true. As a matter of fact, she is almost 16, and I haven't "spanked" her in WELL over a year. At that age, non physical pumishments work much better.
So, she speaks with the counselor, and he comes down and talks to us. What he heard and his suggestion? Well, she is very angry at the wife and I, mostly because we won't let her do what she wants, and make her do chores. Okay, that is not a shock. She doesn't want to live at our house anymore. Again, not a shock, what teenager DOESN'T want that?
Now the shocker. He said she hinted to him that she lied about the abuse, but would continue it, and get even worse if we did not give her what she wanted.
Okay, I flipped (not in her presence). We are being blackmailed by a 16 year old.
His suggestion, move her out of the house ASAP. My first response was to pretty much indicate that he could go sexually gratify himself. But the more he explained it, the more it looks like we have no other choice. We talked about WHERE to send her. Her desire is to go live with the friend who she told this stuff too, and apparently, her mother has agreed. I explained that there was NO WAY that I was going to allow her to go have an extended sleep over with a friend as an answer to her false allegations.
We decided that the only place she could live was with my mother, in the back of our property.
As I calmed down, the wife and I began the preporations for her relocation, and began to see the up side. Perhaps after a few weeks with my mother (I love her, but I wouldn't want to live there), our house won't seem so bad.
We told her to go pack, and called the rest of the kids into the room. She came back in, with her new travel bag, which we told her to empty, as it was OUR bag, and handed her a handful of walmart bags. I took her cell back.
We told the kids what was happening, that C was moving out. I have to be honest, it was the only bright spot of the evening. At first, they were VERY angry at the wife an I. Accused us of "throwing away" one of the kids. They jumped to C's side at once. C got the most HATEFUL smile on her face, watching her siblings turn on their parents. (For the record, I understand that this girl has SEVERE issues, and this is a TEMPORARY solution, until we can solve the true problem) Of course, with her there, we explained the reasons:
-C claimed I hit her and bruised her. Then tried to get one of the other girls to verify that she SAW the bruise on her hip. To which the other girl said, "I talked to {whoever} at school, you fell off the bleachers!"
-C claimed that she was the only one that ever had to do anything in the house. At this point, the "crowd" turned on her. I have to laugh, cause the grin VANISHED. See, she is VERY involved at school, and is rarely AT the house. I don't hold that against her, she is 16, and has a lot going on. But BECAUSE of that, I catch a lot of flack from the OTHER kids, because since she is not there, she DOESN'T have as many chores as the other kids, and we are more lenient if one of her activities interferes with it getting done.
-C claimed that she gets nothing, while everyone else gets what they want. At that claim, I think I saw one of them building an effigy to burn. She is the ONLY kid that has a cell phone, she is taking drivers ed, she has her OWN desk in the older girls room, that is SACROCINCT. If anyone TOUCHES it, she freaks out.
So, that is where we sit. We have cut her off completely. If she doesn't want a family, she doesn't have to have one. She got 7 outfits, her purse (minus the cell), and her toiletries, and left.
I hope this is short term, but am scared enough about her accusations, and willingness to lie, that I have to do what is needed to protect the other kids.
Well, ladies and guys, tear it up. Support is appreciated, criticism is welcome as well.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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