churchlady
recently joined
Reged: 05/09/07
Posts: 3
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Oldest Child wants to live with father
05/09/07 03:50 PM
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I'm looking for some help. My husbands oldest child is coming to live with us in June. She is 12 and has been expressing this desire since she was 9. Her mother has reluctently agreed to let her move, and is now playing mind games with her, telling her she is moving to the middle of nowhere and that her education and life is going to suffer. She even went as far to call her "trailer trash" to one of her friends mothers. We live on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and certainly do not live in a trailer or do we have any near us. It is literally a 1/2 mile walk to the Chesapeake Bay or the Harris Creek either direction. We have a lovely little house, with a nicely manicured lawn and nice cars. In a nutshell, we are doing well. There are 2 children from the marriage, that ended in 2001. The ex is constantly bashing the father, as is her family. The oldest child (12) has on many an occasion stood up for her father, she has always been her daddys girl. The youngest (8) has learned the ropes of divorced children and plays everyone for whatever she can get, and remains innocent through it all. I am trying to find some resources or good books on how to handle what the youngest is going through. I've asked her several times how she feels about it, and I am not getting much. I'm trying to find a way to get it out of her. She needs to talk about it. The 12 year old isn't thinking about her sister, just that she wants out of that house. I know she will miss her sister, and I want her to realize how important it is to remember that. Can anyone give me any suggestions of resources that I might find? The parents have agreed to this situation together, because the mother knows how unhappy the 12 yo is. I give her credit for doing this without a fight. But, I am worried about the 8 YO.
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