Divorce Source: My vent

Encyclopedia

Checklists

Tools

Downloads

Bookstore

Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

You are not logged in. [Login]
NEW USER Registration

DS Home · Community Forums · All Forums/Msg. Centers
NEW USER Registration · Search Community Forums · Help

Divorce Source Community Forums >> Life After Divorce

focusedon2
Pooh-Bah

Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136

My vent

08/05/07 01:11 PM

As our court day approaches, I find myself feeling a way I did not anticipate.

I was afraid that I would be filled with regrets for our lost marriage. I was hoping I would just feel indifferent. It has, after all, been 4 years.

But instead I feel an increasing rage.

Even hatred.

I can't wait to be free from him even though, of course, nothing is really going to change. Just a piece of paper saying we are no longer partners when we know we haven't been really been partners for years. Of course, he knew we weren't partners for a lot longer than I had known. I guess that doesn't matter any more.

What I do feel regret for is one very bad decision I made when it became clear to me our marriage was ending. I made the decision out of fear and desperation. Now I hate myself for that decision and I know that fuels my anger for him. It's been 4 years and I can't sometimes I still can't stop myself from crying.

Maybe I think the final divorce decree will be what will completely sever me from my past and that will allow healing.

Or maybe some things you just don't heal from. Maybe I was always naive because I was young and scar-free. Then you age and just like you get scars on your flesh that never go away, there are scars on the soul that are the same way. You learn to live with them. You learn not to think about them. But one day you look down at your arm or your leg or look at your face in the mirror and you realize that damn scar is still there - now a permanent part of who you are.

Maybe the good thing about that is that I realize that it's a natural part of life - and I will be better at seeing people for who they really are (myself included), scars and all. I'm not so sure of that. I just hope it's true.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
My vent	focusedon2	08/05/07 01:11 PM
Re: My vent	PhoenixRising	08/05/07 03:23 PM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/05/07 02:30 PM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/05/07 03:36 PM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/05/07 05:15 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/05/07 06:28 PM
Re: My vent	preemiemom	08/05/07 07:14 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/05/07 10:06 PM
Re: My vent	1004SRS	08/05/07 06:45 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/05/07 07:56 PM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/05/07 05:41 PM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/05/07 10:45 PM
Re: My vent	yregna	08/08/07 04:17 PM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/05/07 11:08 PM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/06/07 11:13 AM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/06/07 08:21 PM
Re: My vent	Melanie1	08/07/07 09:03 AM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/07/07 09:10 AM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/06/07 09:59 PM
Re: My vent	JustMeAndThree	08/09/07 07:15 AM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/09/07 07:38 AM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/09/07 08:21 AM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/09/07 10:36 AM
Excuse me but	KiwiGirl	08/11/07 10:24 PM
Re: Excuse me but	NancyD	08/12/07 05:06 PM
I am missing out	KiwiGirl	08/12/07 07:54 PM
Re: I am missing out	Drew	08/12/07 11:21 PM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/09/07 11:38 AM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/06/07 11:06 PM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/06/07 11:33 PM
Re: My vent	Redlegg	08/07/07 04:54 AM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/07/07 07:43 AM
Re: My vent	Redlegg	08/07/07 08:05 AM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/07/07 01:23 PM
Re: My vent	Redlegg	08/07/07 04:00 PM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/07/07 07:08 PM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/07/07 03:53 PM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/07/07 07:05 PM
Re: My vent	1004SRS	08/07/07 07:08 PM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/07/07 07:34 PM
Re: My vent	Badasp	08/07/07 07:57 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/07/07 04:08 PM
Re: My vent	1004SRS	08/07/07 04:15 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/07/07 04:30 PM
Re: My vent	1004SRS	08/07/07 06:25 PM
Re: My vent	Redlegg	08/07/07 04:13 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/07/07 04:26 PM
Re: My vent	Melanie1	08/07/07 09:01 AM
Re: My vent	Drew	08/06/07 09:27 AM
Re: My vent	Debi	08/06/07 11:42 AM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/05/07 06:20 PM
Re: My vent	Patrice	08/05/07 09:26 PM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/05/07 09:46 PM
Re: My vent	Melanie1	08/07/07 10:01 AM
Re: My vent	willybillie	08/07/07 04:25 PM
Re: My vent x 2	JustMeAndThree	08/05/07 02:42 PM
Re: My vent x 2	freedom123	08/05/07 03:05 PM

Extra information

0 registered and 3 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator: dsAdmin

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Thread views: 4350

Jump to

Divorce Source Home

UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1

Resources & Tools

	Start Your Divorce Several Options to Get Started Today.		Online Divorce Tools Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
	Download Center Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.		Discount Books Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
	Negotiate Online Settle your Divorce and Save.		Custody Scheduling Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator

Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!