ELEMO2001
journeyman
Reged: 07/18/07
Posts: 82
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getting blamed
08/14/07 04:13 PM
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so hello everyone, once you read this please give your feed back.. as you all know i've just filed for divorce. my X have signed everything except the CS, so thanks to most of your feed backs, i've went ahead and filed my case with DCS. now he is MR. Negotiator, he wants to make a deal so i did settle the CS. however over the last few days he calls me out of blue just to let me know that it was/is my fault for the marriage to fall apart. i wasnt a good wife or wife material as he put. we have been toghere for the last 10yrs were he said it was a joke and waste of time and that he is glad to have moved on. yet he still havent taken the parenting class. his thing is that i didnt contribute anything to the marriage. i've given him nothing and i was a leach, he said that i'm just sucking him dry. in my mind i couldnt come up with anything. i work full time, i drop and pick up my kids (my gift from god) where if he signed them i would throw a big party to celebrate. of course i did the same when we were living with him too. to make the long story short, when we meet he had no car, i use to let him borrow my car where he now claims i'd never let him drive. at the time i had a 97 ford brand new, of course i was crazy in love with him that anything he did was not an issue to top it of i was young. i didnt and still don't care for what he has or don't. i like nice things so i get them my self i want my kids to go to the best school so i enrolled them into private school. in the process of loving him and nothing caring too much of what he put on the table i've lost piece of me now i am regaing it. this kind of comment is not helping at all. i grew up in a different calture and tradition so as a women i had to step aside inorder to become a provider for my family. in my calture a male takes care of all, the way that a person would know that a household is healty is by looking at the wife (the way she dressed, carried herself, the way she looked well feed or not). so knowing that my X wouldnt provide for me and deliver the things that i would need i still loved or love him. he dont see that at all, when i had my kids daycare my mom was available (free of charge) of course he feels that i cant live without my mom that is why i go there every day. when it came including him in everything i've always asked him first but his response was i dont know or i have nothing to say so after a while that gets old. i've being saved since 04 and i am passinate about my envolvment witht he church and studing the word of course he thinks that is just a fake move on my part. or that is just a way to meet a new guy. what i dont get is, what was it that i was suppose to do for him? buy him BMW? home? feed him? dress? what? honestly i just dont get it. it got to me when he told me all the terrible things that he said to me. most of all when he is done talking or yelling he'll hangup the phone so i'd never got a chance to say any thing. how can i be civel with a man who is always mad and bitter?
pleas give me feed back thanks
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