LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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So tired...
08/15/07 05:56 PM
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I have been home the last two days sick from work. Whatever bug hit me, it has hit me hard. I am not myself right now and I just came off of a crying jag that isn't like me at all either. I'm just tired, sick and burned out! I needed to vent where I know I would be understood. I'm so tired of juggling and doing everything, everyday, alone...
I tried to talk to my nursing supervisor today, when I called in to let her know I was still running a fever, feeling awful and there was no way I could come in. I tried to let her know that the schedule she's put me on right now is doing me in. She has scheduled me back to back days, three in a row, one day off, then four in a row, one day off. I can't keep up the pace and my body is even finally telling me so. My kids are suffering, I'm suffering and when I tried to address it with her, she blew me off, told me I had to do it, she couldn't change it for me.
I am just feeling so very overwhelmed tonight. I know it's from coming right out of nursing school, starting a new and demanding job, studying for and passing my state licensing exam and every other stress I've been dealing with alone the last 6 years. Currently my dad just getting out of the hospital with heart problems that are scaring me. I know everything is magnified because I do not feel well right now and because I am feeling I've walked into a job that I was very straight forward about what I could and couldn't do and they have not been straight forward in return. They are pushing me and I feel it is going to cost me my sanity, my health and more important than all of that, I feel I've put my kids on the back burner and I hate that the most of all. I don't know what to do and I'm just feeling so desperately alone trying to make it all work out right now.
Sorry for the pity party. I'm just not myself and I am totally tired of doing it alone. I miss hugs, I miss a pat of the back, I miss another grown up to talk to every day. Someone to help carry the load and share in the good and the bad. I think this is the closest I've ever felt to burnout and I don't know what to do about it.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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