futureman
recently joined
Reged: 08/16/07
Posts: 1
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New and looking for some kind words
08/16/07 06:15 PM
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Hey All,
I've lurked here for a little while hoping to pick up bits of advice and it's certainly helped. Within the last few days, however, my pain has been unbearable and I have to hear someone tell me they understand.
My beautiful, sweet, caring wife of six years filed for divorce near the end of June. I won't get into specifics, but a character flaw in me was revealed that led her to do this. We've both made some mistakes by not communicating enough, but we really had a strong base relationship. Always respectful. Always sweet and helpful. Always encouraging.
But she's unwilling to work any further on our marriage. She's says she's tried, but it's not been enough.
I'm as low as I've ever felt in my life. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I want her back so badly. I want the funny, lovable cats she took with her back. I want to find the notes she would leave in my car for me before I went to work. I want to see that she's written that she loves me on the shower door or the white board on the fridge. I want to get to work and find an email that she's sent telling me she loves me and that she hopes I have a good day. I want to hear about her day. I want to put my lips on her cheek. I want to hear her yell "Hey P. Pie!" when I get home from work. I want to yell back "Hey Snizz!" and meet her for a sweet embrace and a kiss.
She's left literally hundreds of little notes throughout our dating and marriage. I've kept every one. I've kept shopping lists she made for me and then wrote "I Love You" on. I kept a Dixie cup I got the first time I went to her house when we were friends. It still sits in my closet. I stopped using a white board on which she wrote a loving note to me so I could save it. I pull all these out into the living room floor and simply wail.
It's so so horrible. I can't begin to put into words the level of my grief.
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