Sorry this is so long...
I was hoping someone could offer me some information to help me put together a relocation package. Please, I do not want comments on ‘why are you taking your child away from the daddy, etc.’ I’ll briefly explain the situation so you can get a better idea.
Married a little over a year. Have a daughter who just turned 10 months old. While pregnant my husband was trying to become a pilot. I had many conversations with him (after she was born) that this wasn’t a good idea since we have a child and that he needs a job closer to home and one that actually pays. He refused to listen to me and even had his mother call me up and threaten me saying that I wasn’t going to stop him. Nothing I said would have stopped him.
He finally gets a pilot job paying 60K less than what he was making. And with the new job came along training in TX (we are in IL). He was gone for 6 weeks straight and only home 2 days total during that time. I was completely responsible for our daughter 24/7 with no help (I have NO family in the state). There is also absolutely zero relationship between me and his mother and sister that are in the state (long story).
Once he came home, he announced that same day that he’s filing for divorce. No notice, no option for counseling, nothing.
All along our intent was to get ‘us’ moved to CO, where all of my family is. He agreed to this. But now with the divorce, he says he’s not going to allow me to move to CO (which he originally agreed to).
Anyway, with this pilot job, he’s gone 5 days a week, and it’s always over the weekend. He’s only home 2 days a week, if that. Leaving me working a full time job with no break and no help on the weekends. I handle EVERYTHING. He’s also based out of Houston, so that tacks on an extra travel day before his trip and after. He will be gone all major Holidays as well.
My company has a subsidiary in Denver and I requested for a transfer to that office, doing the same job I do here (lateral move). And I was granted the transfer.
I met with my lawyer yesterday and filed a petition for removal and am hoping it gets filed before our scheduled court date next week.
Here’s where my question lies – how do I go about putting together a relocation proposal for the judge? I understand everything that I need to prove: ie. Enhancing the child’s life for both of us, motives for the relocation, visitation, etc.
Is it alright to put together a packet and spiral bind it? Containing all information regarding the town I’m moving to, schools, activities, etc.
My reasons for moving is that my entire family (sisters, nieces, brother, cousins, aunts/uncles live there). My parents are in the process of moving there. I’m extremely close with my family. And during all of this, I need my family support more than anything. I’m extremely isolated where I live. We moved to be closer to his mother (big mistake) but that moved me an hour to 2 hours away from my friends. I’m not able to play soccer anymore because I have no sitter and it’s over an hour away. So when stbx is gone all the time, that leaves me home alone with our daughter. How can I keep going and be happy all of the time, when I’m in complete misery? I can’t keep caring for my daughter the way she needs to be if I’m totally isolated from everyone.
I want more for my daughter. I want to expose her to everything I never was able to do as a child (horseback riding, mountain climbing, rafting, camping, etc). The schools in the community that we would move to are ranked very high (not that she’s in school or will be anytime soon). We would be moving into my sisters townhome (she owns and recently moved out of to move in with her fiancé). So it’s a nice 3 bed, 3 bath home.
As far as visitation, I will let stbx visit whenever he is able to. I will pick him up from the airport if I am available. He can even stay at my house (at least I would have a place to go – right now I just hide upstairs in my room when he’s over). Also, he flies free with his job, so there is no cost involved for airfare. He can jump on any plane within the network of his company (which is major).
So with a job transfer, place to move into, daycare arranged, all of my family in that state, stbx never home, willing to let stbx visit whenever he wants, etc. What are my chances with winning this relocation? And how do I put a proposal together?
Any input is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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