Ok, here's the story...
I'm stationed here in Florida, originally from Utah, which is where the STBX and I are both from and where we were married. We moved here to FL in June of 2006, she obtained a FL drivers license & therefore residency. I hold dual residency due to my maintaining my Utah drivers license but also meeting residency status for military members staitioned in FL(at least six months ilving in FL). On 4 July of this year(2007) she took my 2 year old daughter back to Utah saying she was going home for a two week visit to help her mother move to a new house. She had gone home on visit's in the past, I thought this was no big deal. She packed lightly for herself and my daughter, told me that she would be getting a job when she got back and to set up day care for my daughter, and that she was thinking about us getting pregnant again when she came back. Awesome right? Well, 2 weeks turned into 3, which in turn came with a phone call, the meat of which went like this "Can I send our daughter home to stay with you? I'm having a nervous breakdown, and there is a counselor here that my mother wants me to see to get help with my issues" "Of course baby, Of course I'll take care of our little girl, in fact why don't I take some leave and come out to support you with what you are going through?" "No, save your leave so we can all come out for Christmas" "Are you sure babe? I want to help" "Then just take our daughter and I'll be home soon". Well, my parents made arrangements for my sister to bring my daughter out to me, and had my wife sign and notorize a letter saying that my wife gave her permission for this, due to my parents smelling something fishy about the situation. My daughter was returned to me on August 7. On August 8 I got our family cell phone bill.... Long story short, Nervous breakdown, NO, adulterous affair, YES YES YES. Not only that, but she had been calling divorce attorneys left and right. Well, I told her that we should put the childs interests first, and that I would accept nothing less than full joint custody, and half of the year with my daughter living with me. She agreed to this and we both agreed that there was no need for attorneys since we agreed on everything, we could save time and money by simply filling uncontested ourselves. For 4 weeks she would call and promise my daughter that mommy was comming out for a visit, and at the last minute she would cancel. Finally, on 15 September she came out for a visit. And that is where the real fun started. We spent a decent if uncomfortable afternoon with my daughter, out and about. After we returned home and put my daughter to bed, all hell broke loose. I'll skip the lengthy details, but she tried to seduce me. Didn't take the bait, thank god, because I know now she would surely of cried rape. When that didn't work she started throwing VERY intimate details of her affair at me, in an obvious attempt to get me to hit her. Abuse charges are golden in a custody fight, right? Again, I didn't take the bait. I told her I knew exactly what she was doing and that I was not going to fall for it. Well, she had one last little trick up her sleve. She texts the boyfriend back home in Utah, and tells him that I have my gun out and I am suicidal. He promptly drives to her parents house and passes on this news, and the parents call the cops. Well, when the cops show up, here I am, no gun( yes I do own a gun, I am a military policeman, and it was locked up safely, nowhere near my person) and perfectly calm. They take me out front and leave a female officer in the house to talk to my wife. The male officers and I are talking cop talk, and they say "this is obviously a misunderstanding, we get these all the time, no big deal". Well, the female officer comes out and asks me to place my hands behind my back. I tell her that I will comply, and do, but that I would like to know what is going on. She tells me that based on my wife's statement and the fact that I do own a gun, I'm being BAKER ACTED. For those of you not familair with this wonderful little piece of legislation, the state of Florida will have you involuntarily commited for evaluation for up to 72 hours at the drop of a hat. I ask her what this is based upon, she says "well, your wife is making a statement that you are suicidal, and there is a gun in the house, so we are going to err on the side of caution". I tell her that if they lock me up that my wife will skip town with my daughter and use this against me to steal custody, that this is in no way nesacary and in fact abuse of the law, that there is no proof or evidence whatsoever of my wife' claims, but it all falls on deaf ears. Oh yes, there will be a lawsuit over this as well, but I digress. Not 6 hours after I am taken away in cuffs and locked in a mental facility, guess who gets on a plane with my daughter? You got it. Well, when the examining physician finally gets my statement and consults with the threpist I have been seing vouluntarlily for a month previously due to the stress of the situation, as well as my military chain of command, I am released on my own recog and found to be no threat to myself or others. I promptly hired the most father friendly and expensive lawyer in the area, who got the ball rolling on the divorce proceedings and custody. There is pretrial standing order that states that minor children in a custoy battle CANNOT be removed from the state without written permission or an order of the court, so my daughter should be back her in FL wether my wife is or not right? Well, no. Two days before the judge signed all the paperwork, gues who took out a TPO in UTAH, cutting me off from my daughter. MRS Charm, as my attorney likes to refer to her as. As an added bonus, this PO carries a FEDERAL rider barring me from owning, useing or possesing any firearm. Kinda hard to be a military cop without a gun, right? Now to get this TPO, she has made not only the false suicidal allegation, but has now made up a RAPE that supposedly took place back in 2005. She has also stated that durring the events that she made up about my gun, that she was affriad that I would rape and shoot her. WHAT? Well, luckilly I document. I've got her statement that she made to the police here, where she states "At no time did he threaten in anyway my self or our daughter, I was only affraid for HIS life", in direct contrast to her statement about fearing for her life and fearing that she would be raped. I've also got lingeree pictures & some very hot and explicit computer sex sessions that we have had since shortly after the alleged "rape" took place in 2005. Again, she's got NOTHING. Guess what? The commisoner GAVE HER HER TPO. We've got an appeal pending before the circut court judge as I type this. She called me this morning to offer me a "Deal". Her offer? Drop the proceedings in FL, move the divorce & custody hearings to Utah, Willingly sign over full custody both joint and legal, she'll "Give me" 2 weeks visitation out of the year, and dismiss the protective order. WOW, what a deal! When I told her there was no way I would accept that, she said, fine, Have fun loosing your career. Now, the AF has investigated, cleared me on EVERYTHING, and returned me to full duty status, the problem being that I cannot Arm Up due to the order by the Utah court. I have faith in our appeal, I have a really good lawyer, and the commisioner who approved the order is known for handing them out like candy, whereas the Judge on the appeal is known for tossing out the commisoiner's rulings. However, should this appeal fail, I'm really stuck as far as the military goes. No gun, no career. I've put in 7 years and am fully planning on getting to 20+. I've got a great reputation, a pending promotion & career level upgrade. But her games could bring that all to a halt. ANY ADVICE AT ALL WOULD BE MOST APPRECIATED....
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Pain is Tepmorary. Dads are FOREVER.
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