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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
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Loc: Oregon
Where are all the nice guys ?
      01/02/08 03:35 PM


What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were [censored] treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the drunken charming boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an [censored] than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f^cked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullsh!t and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't f^cking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Where are all the nice guys ? yregna 01/02/08 03:35 PM
. * * Re: Where are all the nice guys ? kotabear   01/09/08 12:50 PM
. * * Where Are All the Good Women Renee   01/02/08 07:29 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women CiCi   01/09/08 08:13 PM
. * * Here is the answer. NeedToKnow451   02/19/09 06:05 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women changes   01/06/08 10:17 AM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women 1004SRS   01/02/08 10:15 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women Reilly   01/02/08 08:57 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women googledad   01/02/08 10:41 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women Relayer   01/06/08 06:32 AM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women spinnerdegrassi   01/06/08 12:55 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women Renee   01/06/08 12:41 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women jss1   01/06/08 12:56 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women emilar   01/06/08 01:01 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women changes   01/06/08 08:23 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women emilar   01/06/08 10:00 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women Renee   01/06/08 02:40 PM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women changes   01/06/08 09:48 AM
. * * Re: Where Are All the Good Women jss1   01/05/08 02:17 PM

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