sunnyday
member
Reged: 05/16/07
Posts: 150
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worried
04/12/08 10:30 PM
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ok - After letting this bother me off and on all day I decided to just post. I wasnt even sure where to post this so here goes.
I have been divorced for over a year now. My ex was pretty verbally abusive to me during our marriage. Meaning he would ignore me for days at a time and then totally blow over something that would never make sense to me ( like putting the phone book in the drawer or empting the trash or locking the bathroom door while I was in it). As far as physically violent he only hit me a couple times and I was never seriously injured. He always blamed his job plus he goes through mood swings like you wouldnt believe. Finally I just couldnt take it anymore and asked for divorce. He agreed that he had been wrong and we both agreed to the divorce. He wrote up the docs and we were divorced 20 days later. It wasnt until a few weeks went by that he started making odd requests that I come do his laundry or come over for a "friendly visit" ( he offered to pay me for them). When I made it clear that I was done with him in that way he just seemed to get angry and try and yell at me for every little thing.
So, me finding a guy who treats me like a queen and is great with my kids really sent him over the edge. It has taken me months to learn how to stand up to his harrassing phone calls and emails. I have sent letters to him from myself and my lawyer asking him to just be nice for the sake of the kids. I now have to record every conversation -phone and email. It has been a trying year to say the least.
At this point he has a charge against him for hitting the side of my car during a drop off for his visition. (and to clarify) I have followed the visition and even given him extra time in hopes that he will be nice- it doesnt work) my lawyer is adament i dont do this anymore because of everything he has done. He hit the side of the car because I was told not to get out of the car because at previous visits he would start yelling at me over stuff that didnt hardly make sense. I am not his wife anymore.
The prosecutor called several weeks ago and after talking to my husband about everything he was doing, the prosecutor filed a no contact order. It is still pending from what I understand until he goes before him for a meeting. I just try to make every communication with him directly about the kids and nothing more. Last week he threatened to have me and my husband arrested if we went to my sons band concert. My lawyer said that that didnt make sense since I havent done anything and it was during my custody shedule. I was fine with ex going and just ignoring me. ( totally ok with that ) ex came and was stomping around. Daughter asked if she could sit by him and i said fine- she came back about 5 min later and said dad was so mad she didnt want to. It was quiet till the end of the concert when as we left in front of other parents, and my parents he brushd by me and called my husband a dumbass. We figured if that was it we were lucky and went home. Next day husband found that the gas tank lid had mysteriously been bent all the way back and bent the lid. same day the prosecutor calls and says I should call the police everytime Ex even tries to talk to me. I am still waiting for my lawyer to call me back on this one because from time to time there are a few things by email I need to let him know about the kids. ( we do have joint custody) So im totally confused about this one at this point.
This is where I come to my problem that Im trying to not stress about. Last night my very chatty daughter was talking about her bedroom at her dads and decorating. I was listening and kinda mumbling" oh thats nice and ok" while she talked. she said that dad want to change her bed and give her his " oh ok thats nice" she doesnt know if it will fit "oh i see" trying to sound interested because I havent seen her room there or any part of his house. She then says that dad is making a weapons wall in his room. He is hanging swords and axes on it. She worries that if her autistic brother has a melt down he could hurt himself with one of them. At this point im becomming alittle speachless. Then she rambles on telling me that she heard her dad tell his mom he is thinking of getting a concelled weapons permit. His mom didnt think it was a good idea (everything is hearsay from my daughter) At this point I feel kinda numb. I slept terrible last night cause i kept dreaming about him with a gun. I ended up kissing her goodnight and telling her not to worry. but this pain in my chest about this just wont go away. I just dont even know how to react about this one.
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