76Momof4
recently joined
Reged: 05/23/08
Posts: 1
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Married but devastated
05/23/08 11:38 AM
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I'm not totally sure if anyone can help me here but I don't know where else to turn right now. Just a short history....I've been married to my husband for 12 years. We have 4 beautiful children (including my 13 year old step-daugther). My husband is a very seemingly intelligent, loving family man. Our marriage was very difficult at first, me being 19 and straight from Mom and Dad's house, and him a 26 year old divorcee, but it gradually got better and better until 2004 when I was blind-sided by my husband getting caught embezzling money from his company. I was ready to leave, angry and betrayed. Instead, I decided to stay and try and work through things with him. Over the last 4 years, he worked to gain back my trust and things have been amazing. We hardly ever fight, our sex life has never been better, we enjoy family time immensely and are now parents to very healthy, smart, active kids ages 13, 9, 8, and 7. This past Monday, I found out from a relative that my husband was no longer at his job. After confronting my husband, he said that he was let go last Thursday for insubordination. I asked for his boss' number so that I could find out what was really going on and I found out from his very kind boss that they caught him stealing from the company. I've had to find out this way both times. He doesn't even have the decency to tell me himself! My kids have 1 week of school left and I have to pretend like everything is normal when indeed, it is not. Part of me says to just kick him out and the other part wants to try and keep the family together. We are waiting to hear if he will be prosecuted or if they'll just have him pay restitution. The future that felt so certain has now been ripped away. I feel so betrayed but at the same time, I can't even react because I have to let my children finish out the school year happy and secure. One other thing that is certainly not the least of this and is breaking my heart is, if I leave my husband, I leave my step-daughter. I have raised her for 12 years and we are extremely close. She has a very strained relationship with her Mom (who has admitted in front of her that if she had it to do again, she would not have had kids) and although she and my husband are close, he's been in a job with long hours so I spent more time with her than anyone. Her time is already divided among her Mom and Dad and I will have absolutely no right to see her at all. I can't bear the thought of losing a child because of this. I am so scared. If someone could just give me their take as an outsider or if any of you have ever been in a similar situation, I would love to hear what you did or what you think. Thank you so much.
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