AnnieJayne
recently joined
Reged: 09/10/08
Posts: 6
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Moving out of state with my children
09/10/08 10:31 PM
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I'm not divorced yet. My husband decided to leave right before Thanksgiving last year (after being married for 13 1/2 years), but he has yet to actually file for divorce. He is active in the childrens' lives and he has been paying what he believes will be close to what he'll pay in child support once its ordered. My problem is this - he hasn't filed. Since he hasn't filed I'm in a state of limbo. He was the primary breadwinner; I worked freelance around his schedule so that we wouldn't have to put the kids in daycare. Now he's taken that income (all but the bit he figures will be child support) away with him and he's saying I just need to get a better job. He's never liked my job because its in theatre and it doesn't pay well, but its what I've been doing since I was 12. I've been actually working professionally since '96 and I've got a degree in my field. The problem is, my work is very specific and the opportunities are scarce where I am now. I'm not getting any sort of spousal support from him and he's stated that he doesn't feel he's obligated to pay any. I need to find a better job to support my children. I've worked in theatre for so long that I don't have your usual marketable office skills, and I've been working consistently in the theatre, it just doesn't pay well. I've found several job opportunites in my field in other parts of the country. We're talking about full-time, permanent theatre jobs that will actually raise me back up above the poverty line if I can get them. The problem - I mentioned the possibility of getting a job out of state and he said that he wouldn't allow it. Period. This is a man who hasn't even filed for divorce yet; many of my friends think that this is because once he does he may have to pay spousal support while the divorce proceedings are going on. He says he just can't afford it. I don't know. Either way, I don't really want to take the kids away from their father. He's a good dad, but I'm struggling to make ends meet and the opportunity for a real improvement in my and my childrens' quality of life is right around the corner, but several states away. I've had interest in my resume, but he says he won't allow it. I even suggested he move to the new locale and he scoffed at me. I just don't know what to do. I'm waiting for a check before I can get my own lawyer and he says he can't afford one. Can he really forbid me to move to make a better life for the kids? Do I have to give up my already established career and get a corporate gig because he left me but he doesn't want to be away from the kids? I'm lost and confused. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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