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shay
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Reged: 04/13/09
Posts: 3
Separated and not sure what to do next. Help!
      04/13/09 10:24 AM

I'll try to make this short:

My husband and I have been separated for about 6 months now and the pressure is on whether we should divorce or not, mainly from him. I forced him to leave because of many reasons, but the main reason is what is in question (all the others we probably could work on).

We moved closer to my parents when we were pregnant with our first. He agreed to move and I agreed he could attempt his own business. The first year went fairly well for a first year, self-owned business, but since then it has been non-profitable. As a result, my parents have had to support us for about two and a half years now. During that time my husband stayed at home with the kids, "working" none-stop on the computer, and rarely contributing to our financial needs. He also starting another business, maxed out three credit cards and borrowed money from his parents. I found these things out randomly and at different times (not before they happened), and he always down played the numbers and the extreme of things. I finally stuck my nose in every inch of his(our) life and realized how bad our situation was. I thought I came down on him pretty hard and that he would start living in reality within a short time (this was about a year ago). I even took a trip to his parents and discussed the situation with them, they said he needs to get his act together and start supporting his family or I needed to leave him. He was constantly on the computer, literally 24 hours a day, "working" on I don't know what and saying he was excited about this and that, but months later nothing changed. Almost a year later it is the same story and I did not know what else to do, but to ask him to leave and take his credit card bills with him. Well, it has been 6 months now and still no job, no financial support for our two children, and no drastic changes to discuss of him trying to make things right. He is somewhat pressuring me to make a decision about our future, but I am still indifferent because I have not seen things progress in any aspect of his life. I don't understand why he is putting this all on me; I guess it is because I started this in the first place, but it was not my fault I had to go to that extreme measure. I guess I am still keeping hope because of our two young children. Equally, I could not live like that anymore, not knowing if our mortgage was going to be paid each month. We could have lost the roof over our children's heads without my parents support. He keeps talking "love", but love is the last thing on my mind; is that wrong? I don't know if I still love him or not. I have been more concerned about keeping my kids' lives stable and as normal as possible.

I hope this explains enough. Please, any advise, suggestions, or just comments would help! Thanks for your time!


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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! shay 04/13/09 10:24 AM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! javajunkiee   04/13/09 11:19 AM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! shay   04/21/09 12:02 PM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! losingfaith   04/21/09 02:07 PM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! shay   04/22/09 11:00 AM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! mommysangels   04/22/09 01:05 PM
. * * Re: Separated and not sure what to do next. Help! losingfaith   04/22/09 02:25 PM

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