deadhead594
recently joined
Reged: 12/13/09
Posts: 3
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Shocked!!!
12/13/09 12:40 AM
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I am new to this community and I really don't know the most appropriate place to post. Maybe someone can point me in the right direction? Anyway, I am having a difficult time. My whole life was changed two days ago. I am 28 and recently married. I have a sister who is 33, married, with two beautiful kids. My parents have been married for 35 years. They are both approaching 60 years old. I grew up with the seemingly perfect family. Two loving parents, upper middle class, happy childhood, etc. My sister and I, her children, all of our relatives and friends, and the community in general, worship our father. He is the most patient, kind, honest, intelligent man alive (or so we thought). Two days ago I get a phone call from him explaning that he had an affair 9 years ago that lasted about a year. Apparently my mother forgave him, they went to counseling, and they moved forward. However, the affair started again (same woman) almost two years ago. My mother found out...which is why he called to explain the situation. I am in complete shock. It is as if my whole life has been a complete lie. He says that he had never been attracted to another woman before meeting this woman. He says he felt an instant connection and it never went away. He says he hid this for so long because he could not bear the thought of losing his entire family and hurting my mother so much (who is very beautiful and loving). However, he says he cannot deny his feelings and that he was following his heart. He still loves my mother, but apparently he is getting the affection and attention that he is craving from this other woman. I don't know what the outcome will be yet....divorce? If so, I don't understand how he could choose another woman (who, by the way, is older than my Mom and not as attractive) over 35 years of marriage and his entire family. I just need help trying to digest all of this. How could someone who you trust more than anyone lead a double life? Where do we go from here? Help, please.
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