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StupidinFL
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Reged: 01/06/10
Posts: 4
Am I being unreasonable??????????????????
      01/06/10 09:22 AM

Me and my STBX started dating in the spring of 1998 and were married in Feb 2001. She re-located into my house with her two children and we rented her house. I deployed in April 2001 and turned over all household finances to her. Upon my return from deployment in Nov 2001 she offered to continue managing the household finances of which I said sure because I trusted her and she was my wife.

I had a temporary job transferred (military) out of the area and she remained at the house in April 2005 and in November of that year I set up a budget with her via phone/internet and in person to clear all of our personal loans and credit cards before my upcoming retirement in Sept 2008. This goal was accomplished in late 2007 and upon my retirement from active duty my only obligations was a $60,000 mortgage on the primary house and $40,000 on rental house in addition to utilities and auto insurance or so I thought.

In April of 2009 I was bored at work (new civ job) and pulled a TRW report on myself and was surprised to see a credit card balance of $33,000 on a card that was in my name only and one that I had not used in the past 2 years.

After a little looking around and serious talks with the wife of 7 years she came clean to what was going on which was chasing paper and rolling credit card balances around from accounts that she was hiding from me that she never disclosed when we were married and some she opened while we were married that I had no knowledge of.

The damage 2001 to 2009:

- Brought a $15,000 second on her house into the marriage and did not disclose that loan to me.
- Ran her personal credit cards up to $15,000
- Ran my personal credit card up to $33,000 (how did she do that, card is in my name?)
- Pulled $25,000 out of her $401K in 2005
- Refinanced her pre martial house (rental) in 2006 pulling all equity ($60,000) via a subprime loan that created a $600 per month rental negative.

I took over the household account in April of 2009 and since have written checks totaling $48,000 to clean up her credit card mess with the potential of outlaying a final check of $40,000 to make the toxic loan rental house go away.

Lost Rental Equity - $60,000
Subprime Loan - $7,200
Dennis CC - $33,000
Lisa CC - $15,000
Make Rental Go Away -$40,000

Surface damage to net worth is $155,200.

9 months ago I though I have the world by the tail and now am faced with all this crap, am I a good husband or a chump?

After 9 months of this eating away at me I have decided to file for divorce.

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? StupidinFL 01/06/10 09:22 AM
. * * Re: Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? d2njti   01/06/10 11:00 AM
. * * Re: Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? StupidinFL   01/06/10 11:15 AM
. * * Re: Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? d2njti   01/06/10 03:11 PM
. * * Re: Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? Sharonlynn   01/06/10 05:46 PM
. * * Re: Am I being unreasonable?????????????????? StupidinFL   01/07/10 07:06 AM

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