First time poster -Kinda in a bad way.
Where to start. Well I met my wife about 4 months after she had divorced. Her ex was a drunk and almost killed his unborn baby when he shoved a table into her stomach. The guy is a piece of sh1t. That is one of the main reasons they got a divorce.
Anyway, we hit it off right away and fell in love, she also had a daughter who was 3 months old at the time and I treated her as my own. We settled down ad eventually had a child together (1 stepchild, 1 child). Everything was going great until last year when I had to have surgery. We were moving at the time and I had to stay back and get care while she moved to another state. We were apart for a few months, it was hard on both of us.
Anyways, I finally get back and notice she feels cold to my reception. I don't think much of it until just this past December her ex shows up to visit his daughter for the first time EVER. My wife is all depressed before and after he left. She questions our love and begins to point out my flaws and tells me I better fix it. These are not real flaws mind you, one per say is "not being fun anymore". I treat her like a queen and do everything from cook, clean, take care of the kids, work, plus go to school on top of that. She does nothing but go to school mainly, and watches the kids 1 hour a night before they go to sleep.
Well, I just found out recently through incriminating emails that she talking to her ex this whole time. They really didn't do anything besides sex talk and say I love you. But the one time he came they were left alone while I had to go to school. I am almost positive that she slept with him, but cant get it out of her. I confronted her about all this and she said that she was still in love with him and was choosing to stay with me or not. She said that she made her choice to stay with me last month and that even though she would always love him, she loves me more.
The trouble is I can't bring myself to trust her anymore. And once trust is lost in a relationship, its over right? I am NOT a forgive and forget person, I hold grudges for long times. Ever since I found this out I can't sleep, eat or concentrate on school or work. I've been thinking alot about divorce, but she pretty much has me by my balls, so to speak.
We had 100k in the bank, most of it, I'd say 60k she had before she met me. All of a sudden, before her ex came, she wanted separate bank accounts. I hated the idea but said whatever because I am a pushover. I got 8k put into my account and she was supposed to but the rest in an IRA. Trouble is I don't have access to that account and I am afraid she is hiding it. Then once I did threatened to leave, she said she would get me for child support for both kids, one which is not even mine. Is that possible in Texas? And what happens to the house we just bought a year ago, that has lost value so we cant even sell it? Can I stop her from taking my child out of state?
I have no family or friends around me here. So what should I do? I want to stay with her and save the marriage, but the trust factor is too much. I mean every time they talk, and they have to because they have a kid together, I feel like they are making plans to be with each other. Am I just being paranoid? I don't trust the guy when he comes over, which thankfully is only once or twice a year. And the kids mean so much to me, but I will not pay for a child that I didn't bring into this world if we get a divorce.
Just tell me something, please.
thank you, Dan