Curt551
journeyman
Reged: 03/23/10
Posts: 82
|
Re: restlessness...
04/10/10 04:52 AM
|
|
|
Hi again Debi :)
"I hear so many men say they wish they could find a strong, independent woman but I think when they actually find one they don't know what to do with her"
I think that's true on both sides haha. Its quite a dance isn't it. On one hand a guy wants a woman that is independent, self sufficient, strong in her own right yet we also want her to see us as her hero, to be free and spontaneous with us, to allow us to protect her even though she doesn't need it. I don't know that we know exactly we want especially when we're unfulfilled and haven't experienced some of the things we think we want haha.
On the other side I hear women saying they want a strong man who is able to be real, honest, share feelings, entertain deep conversations but they tend to go after "bad boys", seeming to need to be able to change or tame the alpha and, to some degree, measuring love by how much the alpha acquiesces to the taming.
I chuckled about your last line because it is soooo true isn't it haha. I resolved the conflict a long time ago by deciding that it's easier to just be myself and let the chips fall where they may.
Related to dating -
I've experienced the really quick introduction and the no introduction approaches. I enjoy kids but take the invite to meet them as a sign the relationship just took a leap forward toward a serious more long term sort of relationship.
I think people do need to keep the expectations clear because dating, to some folks, is more an interview for a more permanent relationship rather than going out and having a good time just to have a good time and enjoy someone's company. I know initially, without thinking about what I was doing, I was evaluating each woman I met in terms of 'could I live the rest of my life with her' rather than simply trying to enjoy her company and get to know her better without a design toward long term... not ruling it in or out. I think initially I was unconsciously trying to fill the void which would have required a relationship that resembled my marriage. When I read about your situation, that's what I immediately thought the guy was doing in spite of your desire to simply "date". Hopefully we'll both find some people who believe it is okay to simply date. I don't want to be hurt or to hurt someone else because of those misconceptions.
Take care :)
Curt
|
|
0 registered and 3 anonymous users are browsing this forum.
Moderator: dsAdmin
|
Forum Permissions
You cannot start new topics
You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled
UBBCode is disabled
|
Rating:
Thread views: 4260
|
|
|
|
|
|
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1
|
Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
|
|
|
|
|
The information contained on this page is not to be considered legal advice.
A local counsel or professional should always be consulted in regards to any legal matters.
"a passion for a better divorce℠" - established in 1996
© 1996 - 2013 Divorce Source, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Previous
Index
Next
Flat
Edit
Reply
Quote
