
Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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There's life after divorce? She bounces back!
07/01/10 04:16 PM
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She bounces back like a bad check and we've been divorced for almost 16 years.
Let me back up several years. Five years ago when I wrested custody of my youngest daughter from her the ex moved from Northern CA and fled to Southern California where her sister and her mother live. She actually had to get a job and found a small, one bedroom apartment. None of the children lived anywhere near and after a year of crying the blues about how miserable and lonely she was (her sister doesn't like her and her mother doesn't care much for her either), my youngest son and his wife gaffled her up and moved her to Denver with them. She left everything behind and abandoned it.
After about a year, she'd made herself less than welcome in my son's home and it didn't help that she'd been run over by a car and needed a lot of care for many months. When she was back on her feet, my son and his wife said they were moving and she was not invited to move with them. Thanks to a modest settlement from the accident she moved into her own apartment. That was a couple of years ago.
Now the latest. Yesterday my middle daughter, age 26, called me. She said the ex is in a bad way in Denver and from my daughter's description, it sounds like she's entered into the realm of dementia, early onset Alzheimer's or a deep, deep depression with accompanying cognitive impairment and/or psychosis. Daughter had been called by the ex's apartment assistant manager who did a welfare check while collecting rent. Not good. Nobody had seen her around and about, walking her nasty little dog, for about three months. They'd had to go to her door to collect the rent each month instead of her bringing it to the office and the apartment was full of dog droppings, and worse, and in disorder.
I could tell my daughter, the only one of the five children who stay in touch with the ex, and only rarely at that, was hesitant so after listening to the circumstances I asked her what she needed from me. What she needed was plane tickets for her and her partner to fly back Monday and see what, if anything, they could do. I could tell she was reluctant to ask me, given my total indifference to her mother and the ex's nastiness during and after our divorce, but I'm glad she did and purchased the plane tickets for them. Indifference aside, the woman is my childrens' mother so what else could I do? In a sense I guess I did it for both of them.
After all these years this seems somehow surreal. I find myself asking myself what's next. My wife and I talked about it and she's of the same opinion I am -- that in the end, we'll likely have to bury her too unless she outlives me. There's a good chance of that since women in her family are very long-lived. One grandmosther lived to 92, her mother is 93 and her other grandmother lived to 101.
I've always said that woman would live to be 110 out of spite!
-------------------- What me worry. I'm retired!
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