freetobeme
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Reged: 09/27/10
Posts: 2
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Invasive Sister-in-Law
09/27/10 06:29 PM
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My ex's sister and he are exceptionally close, so much so that she hindered some reconciliation efforts on my part once we were separated, because I initiated proceedings. My daughter,20, who is very much like her father in temperament, has sided with him, and is very difficult to get along with, though I always take the high road and do not speak poorly of him or his sister, to her. I have tried very hard since the sep/divorce to have a better relationship with her, but it has not always been successful. My husband made out financially way better than I did in the divorce. He makes at least four times my salary and indulges her and her brother (though her brother and I have a much better, open, relationship). The big problem I have is my ex-sister-in-law. She has attempted to step into the role of me by buying my daughter very expensive gifts, showing up at all of her collegiate events (even those traditionally reserved for parents), and even buying her a membership to an auto club, something a parent should do. I can afford some things, but don't overly indulge her. I am not blaming my daughter, but my ex-sister-in-law is making it more difficult to maintain my composure at these events (which are often as she is involved in a college sport). My daughter shuts me out of any "serious" conversation; she only contacts me when she wants something. I want to confront the sister-in-law, but don't want to come off as "hysterical" or "needy", two words that my emotionally abusive ex always accused me of, and that I know (as do most who know me), is not true. I could use some tactics to handle her and my daughter. Talking to the ex does nothing, as he relishes the fact that my daughter doesn't talk to me...he feels it's payback. He does nothing to foster a good relationship between my daughter and me.
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