This is long, sorry - but my son is at stake and I need your help, advice......
My wife and I have been married 8 years, and we have a 4-year old son.
We have been having financial problems, and I had trouble finding work, and over time, my wife became more and more distant. A few months back, I got the, "I love you, but am not in love with you" speech. Since then, she has made some new, "friends", of which she has been open about. However, after my sixth sense was raised, I began to pry, and then her Blackberry got [censored] protected, and I caught her calling the guy one night from downstairs. From what I understood from mails that I saw, he was not really into her, but more so as support since he is a 3x divorcee and fed up with women and they were helping each other.
I saw a mail from him telling her to make things work with me and not to give up on our relationship, so I was glad, but upon my prying, she told me she likes him...a lot. She said she sees a lot of me in him, but without the financial struggles, pending home loss, etc.
Anyway, that night I caught her on the phone, she called him since she heard he was just out of the hospital. When I caught her, I accused her of being a sneak and a liar, and I called him in front of her. He told me what I expected from what I read, that she coaches him through his stuff and says he has been helpful. OK, I have no proof of B.S going on, but she said it's a one-way street, where she really likes him, but he has "0" interest in her, and she thinks that's part of the enticement.
OK, my predicament is that we were contemplating a Legal Separation before this, and yes, I do care about her, but a lot is at stake, since my little boy idolizes his Daddy, and it will tear both him and I apart to be living apart....so can I bust her? Can I file divorce papers for infidelity? Right now, her income trumps mine by a lot, but is this an emotional affair? Is it infidelity?
More details: My son has his granparents and aunt/uncle here in New York, and they are all my immediate family, and her family doesn't live anywhere close. Wouldn't it be beneficial for him to be with his Dad?
Some help...any help...please !!
Sad Daddy in Pain