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jtk1964
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Reged: 01/12/11
Posts: 1
Question for the board...all reponses are welcome
      01/12/11 01:18 PM

I would like feedback regarding my situation. My wife had an affair, I found out about it one year ago..we tried to work things out...ain't gonna happen...we both have agreed to a divorce. We are delaying the divorce for two years for a number of reasons. I will live in the in-law apartment of my house which is totally separate from the rest of the house (private entrance outside of the home, full bath, kitchen, etc.). We have drawn up and signed a post nup/divorce agreement which clearly defines our current arrangement and the details of our pending divorce. There is no intimacy between my wife and myself. We are friends and nothing more...with the common ground being our children. This arrangement will allow us to slowy acclimate our children to our new situation. They understand what is happening and are doing quite well. We are also doing this for financial reasons (pay down debt, tax write offs, lower cost of living expenses, and this arrangement will allow my wife to finish her degree and get a good job so when the time comes she can be in a better position to provide for herself and our children who will be living with her most of the time). If she went out on her own now she would probably end up out of state living with her mother which harm our children emotionally and mentally. Our arrangement now is the same as when we are offically divorced. My daughters spend every other weekend with me. Plus I spend a day or two with them during the week (go out to eat, movie, etc). The rest of the time I stay in my space...they stay in theirs.

My question is this - I want to begin dating other women. My wife and I have agreed to this..she is free to do what she wants as am I. There is zero chance of reconciliation. If my wife was in a better position to take care of our children I would be divorced now and we would be living apart. So please keep in mind that we are doing this in the best interests of our daughters. And for the record...I am in a good place right now. No baggage between the wife and myself.

So...I would like to here some feedback from the board. Especially the women. How would you feel about meeting someone in my situation? Would it matter if I was fully divorced now vs 2 years from now but still have the same living arrangements? Would you have a problem with me living in the same house with my family? I can go as far as to show a potential girlfriend a signed and notarized postnup/divorce agreement and she could even talk to my wife who will confirm our situation.

All feedback (good and bad) is welcome. I've got really thick skin...lol!

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Question for the board...all reponses are welcome jtk1964 01/12/11 01:18 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome Avaya   01/18/11 12:30 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome yregna   01/18/11 02:35 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome finz   01/18/11 10:48 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome BeachBabeRN   01/19/11 07:40 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome Debi   01/16/11 05:48 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome NancyD   01/16/11 08:29 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome yregna   01/17/11 01:39 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welc NancyD   01/18/11 11:46 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome BeachBabeRN   01/18/11 07:15 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome yregna   01/14/11 10:35 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome KiwiGirl   01/15/11 09:31 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome DonMc   01/12/11 03:31 PM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome justmekc81   01/13/11 02:01 AM
. * * Re: Question for the board...all reponses are welcome NoRegrets   01/13/11 09:29 AM

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