jcham
recently joined
Reged: 01/07/11
Posts: 12
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1st support group last night...
01/20/11 05:44 AM
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First of all I went to this with a pretty open mind.
I have recieved and listened here on the forum and it really has helped just to talk about things and read other peoples experience but I felt further investigation and or help needed.
I didnt get home until 10 last night and my roomate had no idea where I had gone to as over the last week what I am going through well I just stoped talking about it, talking to people who dont understand is just like talking to a wall. If you knew how much I talked about it you would understand.
So I get to the church everyone was friendly, happy. I certainly did not fit in or rather still felt alone. Other than the group leader I was the only male there. All these women seemed happy, content, and well from the sounds have and are ok to have moved on. Not really an issue, I mean we are all at differnt levels.
First of all I am not the devout Catholic but do pray to god and do believe in Jesus but I am more of the spiritual type in that it doesnt matter who or what I believe in or who or what you believe in as long as I just do. Maybe I'm off and if I am who cares. So this guy leading the group singles me out and asked me if I have acepted Jesus Christ as my savior. The room goes silent and all eyes are upon me. Yes was my answer but in truth its none of anyones business and just meeting this man to be asked this question well why dont you get to know me first before we get into that. In addition I have prepared a 30+ page confesson of all my resentments, wrongs, etc, to be heard today so ya I do believe in god and all his works but hello I just met you.
I watched a video and got a handbook and I am not alone, divorce is like death as described in both. Everyone went around and shared and I just passed, I dont have anything to say. I mean with the confession and everything what is to say?
The leader of this fourm again says something about my faith and points out the cross I wear around my neek. Now I feel like saying look as@*&^% I'm about to choke you with it. Of course I didnt say it but I am going to call him today and express how I feel. So putting all that aside I was encouraged to come back next week and ya it wasnt all that bad and the handbook is great. It's got some good stuff in it, some homework, cards to hang up and its all good. I didnt really relate to anyone at all, everyone is like Jesus is so good, get involved with church and well the one and only question I have is what are all you women doing there. If your so happy and content what the heck are you doing in a support group other than you have no life. One of the women looked at me like I was a prime rib dinner, talk about the eyes, did you just want to hit the chapel and go to it or what? She was real pretty but you know what I have enough problems LOL..
What are you all doing here if life is so good, that was really my only question all of us were ethier newly divorced and or seperated and everyone was happy, well what are you doing here if life is so good, looking for prime rib?
So I get home and I get a million and one questions and I said I went to my support group, its wed night remember. Oh? my roomate replied and said I havnt talked about it in a week and forgot. Well thats what I mean by people just dont understand.
I am calling this man today, I am going back next week but who knows. I have a coping with divorce and or seperation seminar Friday as stipulated by the courts so what ever. I am charging up my metal detecter (my hobby) scuba diving and metal detecting for the weekend and I am really looking forward to that.
I am looking for work and doing my best there. I have my fingers crossed there and next week I go to court for visitaion, home visits with my son. I think I put together a good case and pray it is. Thats all I got in regards to the support group....
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