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Fishergirl
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Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469

ex stressing kids out about finances and CS

05/09/11 12:48 PM

Im not even sure where to post this but since it relates mostly with cs and ex I thought I would try here.

To start to explain my problem the first part is that my ex has gotten himself into deep financial problems. This is not a suprise to me. Ex overextended himself ALL the time when we were married and frequently would "forget" to pay utilities, doctor bills etc. He was also very controlling and rarely let me know what the finances were until he had dug himself too deep. My parents had to bail us out several times. Now that we are divorced I have watched him over the years overspend. I actually worried that this would happened. His expensive dinners, multiple women, travel, draging me to court, etc has caught up with him in a big way. The way his lives his life is his business and Im not writing all this as one big rant against my ex.

Since he isnt doing anything different this is not suprising, although yes it is stressful and dissappointing. My problem is my ds16. My ex is giving him a guilt trip constantly about how he is so poor. Some of which I get the feeling is over dramatized on ex's part (he hands ds all the change he can find in the car and tells him to run in and buy as much gas he can, and then the next weekend goes out of town) He shows ds his pay stubs and compalins at how much cs is being taken out and that his debts are all my fault. His cs is being garnished by the state and I do know that they take out more because he is arrears but do not have anything to do with that. His cs was just cut in half last year and even now he doesnt even come close to paying a full cs. It is what it is as most here know but it does show how deeply in debt as well as the fact that he only is working a part time job. There is more that he has said and done lately and my dd13 came in to me yesterday and said that ds was probably grouchy because of all the stress and fighting he has been doing at ex's house. Ex is VERY negative about us and ds at one point said he was so tired of ex trashing us all the time. I tried to tell him to just ignore it and not worry about it.

All of this is REALLY stressing out my son. You can really tell he is just not himself. In fact he seems to be picking fights with everyone over the most trivial bizare stuff. (He is 16 and yesterday ran away to the swingset next door at my parents house because my dh and I asked him to please wipe the snot that was dripping visably from his nose)

We are not sure what to do. I am not really in the position to be able to ask ex to back off. I try and distance myself from my ex as it is because of all the stress he causes. Dh and I talked about finding him counseling but are unsure. My ds16 has a very high IQ but mentally I worry about him, he was 10 weeks preemie and has always seemed younger socially than other kids. He was tested as severe ADD and is doing great with training and medication. He also was diagnosed with dismorphic disorder. I love my kids so very much - I am just really worried about ds.

Edited by Fishergirl (05/09/11 01:50 PM)

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Fishergirl	05/09/11 12:48 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Debi	05/09/11 08:03 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Fishergirl	05/10/11 09:59 AM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	yregna	05/10/11 02:04 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	finz	05/10/11 03:13 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Buckeye	05/11/11 09:38 AM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Fishergirl	05/11/11 03:07 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	Kim2148	05/11/11 08:29 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	XavierBrieze	06/16/11 11:06 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	sally1234	06/21/11 04:01 PM
Re: ex stressing kids out about finances and CS	MrsB	05/09/11 03:45 PM

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