leftbehind2
recently joined
Reged: 08/04/11
Posts: 3
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Abandoned
08/04/11 04:23 PM
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Hello, I am an Army Spouse married for 8 years. My husband who is active duty filed for divorce in April 2011. I have been literally abandoned by him and by the Army and stand here completely alone without any support. I want to share my story because I want people to know what the consequences are when you are married to a soldier and than faced with a divorce. I hope that my story can help others, who suffer the same traumatic event, at least realize that they are not alone.
I am not sure about the reason for this divorce, nor do I want it. I feel we had a good marriage. Yes, we could have used counseling but which marriage doesn’t? Either he has a midlife-crisis or he wants to protect his retirement because we are coming close to the 10-year-mark!
After he filed for divorce, my husband came up with the idea to report me for emotional abuse to Family Advocacy (FA) trying to get out of paying alimony.
I went to FA and they interrogated me on my husbands’ accusations holding a bias view. I wonder why they did not realize that he reported me after he filed for divorce. The allegations were found unsubstantiated!
My husband moved out in May and I have no contact to him and don’t know where he is. The only contact I have is through his Commander, FA or his attorney. I reached out for help to all of them but nobody cares to help me. I called his commander to ask for more financial support but he would not help me. Instead he told me to get a job or to go back where I came from. He literally robbed me of my dignity and ran like a bulldozer over my feelings. I have been trying since 2 years to find a job at this duty station but it is next to impossible to find a job, especially in these days. Also, being a spouse,you have a very bad resume and no one wants to hire you because they know you move eventually. I saw FA for help on several occasions but they did not have much interest in helping me either. I actually feel they are somewhat unethical with how they interrogated me.
I realized the command and FA is bias and only support the soldier. To a point I can understand this system but in this situation it is very unfair. I have been loyal to my husband and feel I have lived up to my commitment. Except the Chaplin and MFLC nobody cares about me. Even MilitaryOneSource refuses to help me at this point because the divorce is in process.
Now, I am standing here,alone without a job or any support.
It is a shame how the military treats spouses that showed their loyalty and support not only to their husband but also to the Army throughout several deployments and other operations.
I feel it is very wrong how so many ex-military-spouse are treated in case of a divorce. They are literally abandoned as soon as the divorce is in process. I hope that my story will lead to the incentive to change the system.
[color:purple] [/color]
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