Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Infidelity

JohnAnthony
recently joined


Reged: 08/15/11
Posts: 5
NEED HELP, PLEASE READ, WHAT TO DO
      08/15/11 08:15 AM

So 2 months ago my wife of 15 years tells me she is not happy and that I am too possesive and controlling and insecure and if I cannot change she is not sure she wants to be married to me and maybe we shoudl seperate for now. I instantly go on the defense and wonder what is going on and assume there is someone else, she tells me there is not and its all about me and how I act. After a couple weeks I accept it and start going to a counselor and see how I was and try to start a change. In the mean time we stay in seperate rooms, argue, make up, I try to do the right thing and work as hard as I can on it. After a few more weeks things just get ugly and the fights turn physical and she also said she wants to be happy and is going to do what she wants to make her happy and be selfish and I should figure out what makes me happy. So after the many fights and nights she spent out with her cousin who is going through a divorce, I decide to move out and go stay with parents and friends because I cannot sit there while she is out partying and coming home at early mornig hours.

Last week I had her followed and she went to happy hour after work, no problem, she went to a party at her cousins, no problem, she then went out and went to a sports bar, somewhere she would never go with me, then went to a club, no problem, then here is where it gets bad, she went to a motel, I am not sure with who or to meet who, but my friend said she pulled into a motel and stayed there for 3 hours from 2am until 5am and then went home. I called her, texted her and emailed her the whole time since my friend called me while she was there. I have left for work out of town and she had not responded or answered my calls in 4 days. I am not a fool, i know what happens in motels, I am in shock, upset, angry and my first thought was to file for divorce.
I love this woman and am starting to think I might be able to fogive her, but I have no clue what is going on in her head, I think she always wanted a divorce and maybe was scared to admit it and used the happiness issue as something to get it started. Since she will not speak to me, i am not sure what to do or what she is thinking, i know its only been 4 days, but how long do i wait and what do i do next? Please respond with any ideas, i am lost and miss my wife and i thought i needed to change, but now i think maybe she has had someone else the whole time and just used her happiness as an excuse, i wish she would talk to me so i could ask her what she wants. I think she showed me by her actions, but I want to be 100% sure before I file for divorce, I love my wife and would be willing to work at it if she would, but by her not talking to me, i assume she wants a divorce. Please advise any help or info, someone has to have gone through this before me. I made a commitment 15 years ago and I want to be sure I exhaust every effort before filing for divorce, who knows maybe she will file, but I just don't know what to do.

I can think of no excuse for her to be at a motel and it makes me think she has had someone else the whole time and just used her not being happy anymore as an excuse to get the ball rolling for a seperation to see if this other person is what she wants and have me on the backburner.

Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* NEED HELP, PLEASE READ, WHAT TO DO JohnAnthony 08/15/11 08:15 AM
. * * You know what to do.. Annie7676   08/15/11 04:49 PM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. JohnAnthony   08/16/11 08:01 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. DedicatedDad   08/16/11 10:01 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. JohnAnthony   08/18/11 08:50 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. DedicatedDad   08/18/11 01:51 PM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. Annie7676   08/18/11 05:25 PM
. * * infidelity Benthic1965   11/08/12 03:58 PM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. dobralov   04/02/12 08:29 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. MEBlack   06/23/12 03:51 PM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. Soccerdad39   04/02/12 09:51 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. 8KidsNotShocked   10/06/11 09:13 AM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. buckwheat   10/10/11 08:44 AM
. * * I am wondering how you are doing? margi   11/11/11 01:14 PM
. * * Re: I am wondering how you are doing? JohnAnthony   01/05/12 12:45 AM
. * * Re: I am wondering how you are doing? yregna   01/25/12 04:01 PM
. * * Re: You know what to do.. bearlovergu   09/29/11 12:02 AM
. * * Re: NEED HELP, PLEASE READ, WHAT TO DO DedicatedDad   08/15/11 09:09 AM
. * * Re: NEED HELP, PLEASE READ, WHAT TO DO JohnAnthony   08/15/11 09:22 AM
. * * Re: NEED HELP, PLEASE READ, WHAT TO DO DedicatedDad   08/15/11 10:05 AM

Extra information
0 registered and 0 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:   



Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Thread views: 5873

Rate this thread

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: