DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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I'm not sure why folks think the way they do
08/25/11 01:28 PM
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One of my co-workers announced she is divorcing her husband of 15 years. She labeled herself as a "single mom," even though dad still lives in the house, but their marriage is all but over. They have 3 children, ages 3-15, and she brought up a few questions. She wondered how he would pay child support and 1/2 her $70K student loan when he doesn't have a job. She also mentioned he shouldn't get anything financially out of their home, since she paid for it all.
I asked her a few questions as to their situation....and found that he's a SAHP, and has been for the entire marriage. She works full time overnights (+2-3 overtime shifts a week), sleeps in the day and goes to school in the afternoon/evenings, so he takes care of pretty much all parental and household duties. There is no neglect or abuse involved. There's no doubt he's the primary parent. As a hard working RN, there's also no doubt she's a great provider.
I very emphathetically informed her what would be a typical outcome in her situation, (which did not at all match with her expectations)....she absolutely blew a gasket! All I could do at that point was tell her to see an attorney.
I'm just not sure where this line of thinking comes from. How could one think they are automatically going to get custody when it's so easy to prove they aren't ever physically available? Or, keep all the assets, but pass 1/2 the liabilities to the other?
Heck, I never got into any depth with the separation of assets or retirements, or the possible repercussions of the constant OT. Yikes!
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