Debi, you're right I don't have the strength to go through with it. I can't put my foot down and just say NO to him. And yea i shouldn't be wasting his time either, but He's also part of this marriage & he should also take the responsibility to figure out whats not working or what is & to say NO to me too. But he's just doing nothing & it's hard to work with that. Yea I give him credit for being nice at times, but it's not really solving anything. So No i don't want to waste my time anymore, I just need Strength to let go.
And BeachBabeRN, as far as Trust is concerned, I don't trust him based on his lack of actions/words. But it's not that I may Never trust him again. I WANT to, I truly do, but it takes time and effort on his part. So far I've given MY effort to continue seeing him at the apt, being his friend, hanging out with him,trying to talk to him,...etc. I don't think he's interested in solving anything, I think he's more interested in pretending nothing happened and moving on. And yes you're right, I am controlling on what i need from him, but i think I deserve some straight forward answers now as to what he's willing to do if he really wants this marriage to work. I'm getting mixed signals from him and it confuses me too. It's hard for me to let go, thats my other problem. But maybe it's true, maybe i just like the "idea" of being married....but i still have alot of feelings for him, regardless of anything or anyone. I'm willing to work on our marriage,willing to compromise, willing to be there for him, willing to move back even, But he has to be Willing also & I can't keep kicking a dead horse. I just need to get stronger and learn to let him go.
I guess thats my only choice...? How do i do that?