Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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Our past few weeks/update/longish
05/17/12 10:21 AM
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I have taken advice and basically cut off communication with BM with myself. I did txt her to wish her a happy's mother's day but other than than she was continuing to txt me regarding stuff up until 3 weeks ago but once I stopped responding she stopped txting me. She now only txts DH which is really nice for me and since we moved us talking was becoming more hostile.
A month ago DH emailed (with tracking service) BM about switching this past weekend since SS12 had a baseball game friday night (late) and it was Mother's Day weekend and he had to have the boys back to her by 9am on Sunday. This week was also DD11 bday so he asked to switch it to this coming weekend so that 1)SS12 could attend his game and us not have to drive till 3am in the morning to get back home 2) she could have the whole weekend for mother's day 3) DH could have a whole weekend to spend time with kids and celebrate SS11 bday. It took her 2 weeks to respond but she said no she would not switch. DH didn't pursue it any further until a week before this past weekend she started texting him everyday if we were going to allow SS12 to still play his game that friday. She also added that SS11 is now playing baseball full time. (BM and I had talked prior to ball season about how SS11 did not want to play baseball but he wanted to play soccer. So he is also playing soccer right now) He simply responded no, it was never my intention to cause him to miss but it would be easier if we switched. BM still said no and added that DH was court ordered to have SS12 at his game per divorce decree. She txt him again before he could respond and said "why don't you just give up your weekend and show skids that you support them" When DH txt her back word from word from the decree where it never says he is required to have SS there and that it does say the parent with the less time will be considered more "import" than any previous scheduled activities to maintain relationship (not exact wording but along those lines) and told her that how dare she just ask him to give up his parenting time, she txt him back "lol, fine for the sake of our children i will switch weekends"
So wednesday night at about 9:30pm she txt DH and said "due to recent events I will no longer be able to switch weekends. Just so we are clear this weekend (the 11th) will be your weekend and the weekend of the 18th will be my weekend" DH was obviously flustered and talked to his attorney on Thursday. His attorney was livid that she did that and tried to contact her attorney but he never responded to him.
So, DH and i traveled down to my parents late thursday night since there was no way we could travel back and forth to our home and BM's over the short weekend, we decided to just take them to my parent's for the weekend which isn't as far. She was txting him on our way Thursday asking if he was still picking them up. He said that yes they would be picked up at school on Friday (just like every weekend I have drove down to get them) She txt him back that she wanted them to ride the bus home so she could tell them bye. FYI: she sees them in the morning before they get on the bus, and the time difference between when we could get them from school and when they get off the bus is 40 mins, she she expected him to wait 40 mins so that she could say bye.
He txt her back that she should just say bye in the morning. She txt back "Are you seriously denying me to say bye to my children?" He said no, say bye to them in the morning.
We pick up skids and take them to his dads to wait before the game. We learned while there that SS12 was told he wouldnt be playing and we informed him that no we were staying and he was playing. SS11 instantly shut down and stopped talking. We started to drive to go eat before the game and BM called to talk to skids about where all their baseball stuff was. (Confusing that she was gathering up their baseball stuff for the game but had told them they weren't playing, DH and I still can't quite figure that out) She talked to SS11 and he kept saying "i don't know mom, I don't know where it is" As soon as he hung up his face got red and he said he felt sick to him stomach like he was going to puke. DH pulled into the resteraunt and told me to walk in with SS12 and he talked to SS11. DH said all he did was ask him what was wrong and SS11 started bawling saying he didn't want to play baseball but he was afraid to tel him mom because he didn't want her mad or hurt her feelings.
After DH was done talking to him he called his lawyer to ask what to do. Lawyer told him he couldn't not make him play that night becuz BM could twist it to look bad on DH. But that SS11 would have to be the one to tell BM he didn't want to play.
We get to the game and the whole time the team is warming up SS11 only wants to throw the ball with DH. As soon as they call ready for the game he came up to us and said he still felt sick (which we both knew he wasn't really he just didn't want to play). DH told him he had to tell BM himself so SS11 had DH go with him when he told him mom. As soon as he got done talking to her she walked away and he busted in tears again. I noticed and jumped right up to him because he is not normally a kid who cries. (SS12 is but not this one) It literally broke my heart. BM i guess did not realize he was crying because she just sat on the bleachers telling the parents that SS11 said he must have ate to much ice cream at school that day and his stomach bothered him.
The weekend was really good, skids had an amazing time at my parents and my mom quickly threw together a little birthday party for SS11 and he ended up with like $90 between my relatives so his smile when he counted his money was totally priceless! :)
BM is now saying that both skids want to play a second season of baseball this summer. There are no dates set for season and DH told her he didn't care but that she needed to know that they might miss during his weeks. (just depends on how much we can transport them back and forth) Last year they kept saying there was going to be a second season but it never ended up happening. We also learned this weekend that the prior weekend while skids were at BM's they had another baseball tourney that she never told DH anything about and it wasn't on their schedule.
We have received BM's response to DH's modification. It was pretty much what we expected. Other than that we are just trying to continue with life down here. DH's new lot is doing good and i started babysitting a really sweet little boy who DD5 and him have totally hit it off and call each other brother and sister.
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