filing for Mod, should I or no?

Posted by: justanotherdiv

filing for Mod, should I or no? - 06/28/17 02:40 PM

I have been divorced for over 3 years now. state says I am able to file for mod after this period(or with change in circumstance).

-i am CP of 2 kids. 12 and 16
-NCP pays CS on time every month deducted from paycheck
-he insures kids per CO.
-50% of medical copays/expenses he is ordered to pay per CO(such as co-pays, kids glasses etc) he has never paid.
-he pays $100 less than state says he should pay in CS since day 1. it was an amount we agreed on because he wanted it $500 less than state guidelines. I agreed to $100 less to keep it out of court and divorce moving along.
-number of overnights and my income plays no role in child support in my state-he takes the kids a bit less than state standard(EOWE, holidays etc)

[b]Now the deciding factors/changes on filing a MOD[/b]
-he makes $10,000 more base salary than he did 3 years ago.(OT is factored into CS because he has been at job over 10 years and its guaranteed)
-he was suppose to have new job by this time and be making less money during 1st year, BUT no job yet. he was wait listed.
-he pays on time every time the old "leave well enough alone theory" come into play?

i have asked my now husband, for a mans perspective as someone who used to pay CS. i have asked another divorced mom friend as well.
they both said that NCP is the type of person to get bent out of shape over a mod-even if no changes are made, but just for the sake of me asking, he will become more hostile and angry.
but my husband and friend had conflicting advice. husband said file, friend said dont file.

the mod is filed direct with state, they have final say, and if they say no-its no and nothing happens.

so what does the strangers of the internet/divorced people think from experience?
Posted by: matilda

Re: filing for Mod, should I or no? - 06/29/17 03:55 PM

Yes, he should probably be paying more. I'd calculate how much more you think that you would get each month then decide if it is worth creating a battle over that much money. Honestly I think it isn't worth the heart ache for $100-200 per month. The peaceful relationship that sets a good role model for your kids is worth much more than that amount. Maybe you could compromise with him by having the additional monies he should be paying put into college funds for the kids. If you have the funds then you could put in an equal amount as well to keep harmony.

As for your husband saying that you should collect the money-I have some wonderings. Are you struggling financially and need the extra money? Does his pay have to cover the needs of the kids so he is resentful? Did he have a bad relationship with his ex regarding CS?
Posted by: Goodmom

Re: filing for Mod, should I or no? - 06/30/17 12:17 AM

Given that your ex is not paying everything that he is supposed to, I would file for the modification and not accept less than guidelines. And while you are at it, see if the state will also collect his share of the medical expenses. Some states will as medical expenses is considered part of child support.
Posted by: justanotherdiv

Re: filing for Mod, should I or no? - 06/30/17 01:04 PM

Thank you for the reply,

My now husband does not support my kids. I work full time and i DO get CS on time every time. The amount i do get is substantial compared to many people(so I have been told) however my ex husband makes over $115,000/year. I keep my finances split from my now husband and we contribute to the household equally. this way I am able to spend freely on my kids to care for them as I see fit, and he is able to do the same for his kids.
I know my state will collect if the kids are NOT insured but aside from contempt I dont think there is much to do about 50% of non covered medical. my lawyer had told me previously, either let it accumulate over a year and then file contempt every year or just keep it as evidence if my ex ever tried to take me to court for something.(which hasn't happened ever)
Posted by: MinnesotaMom

Re: filing for Mod, should I or no? - 10/05/17 09:52 AM

Curious, what your decision was in this, how it worked out and your opinion overall of the final result?