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#143755 - 09/13/06 01:48 AM Any help will be great!
shellyrenee_43 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/13/06
Posts: 3
Loc: Ohio
Hey everybody, I am pregnant. The father of my kid is not talking to me and is telling me my kid is going to be retarded and the kid is a total mistake. He told me if i was to call him again he was going to call the sheriff. If I don't ask for any child support or anything out of him, do i have the right to denie a DNA test to cause less trouble? And help will be great. Thanks

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#143756 - 09/13/06 02:34 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
If the named father requests a DNA test to either establish parenting rights or deny a claim for child support, you can be legally compelled to participate.

If you don't want anything to do with the father, and he doesn't want anything to do with the baby...why would anyone request a DNA test?

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#143757 - 09/13/06 02:36 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
If you receive any state aide at all, it won't be up to you. The state will require you to name the father and THEY will expect THEIR money from him in the form of CS. If you're not on any aide, you don't have to pursue CS, meaning you don't have to do a DNA test. But HE can always come back at any time in the future (say when the child is 15) and decide to request the test and suddenly play daddy, whether you ever pursued CS or not. So why not do it up right in the first place.
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Char Fox

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#143758 - 09/13/06 02:38 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: Rebecca5]
shellyrenee_43 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/13/06
Posts: 3
Loc: Ohio
I know that when the baby arrives he will take me to court for a DNA test and visitation. Hes not saying that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby, but the way he has been acting, I don't want him to have anything to do with it. We were never married. So i didn't know if he could do this or not

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#143759 - 09/13/06 02:38 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
Yes, he can.

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#143760 - 09/13/06 03:14 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
rocketgirl Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
You decided to create a child with the man... you don't get to say now that he doesn't have rights. But with these rights, also come responsibilities. It is his right to see the child and his responsibility to help support the child. It is your responsibility to foster a relationship between father and child.
_________________________
Lisa Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.

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#143761 - 09/13/06 05:50 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: rocketgirl]
CaymanCanuck Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 242
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I'm confused. You say he doesn't want anything to do with you or the child then say that he will take you to court to obtain an order for DNA tests (I assumed you meant so that he could establish himself as NOT the father) and yet you add for 'visitation'.....

Which is it?
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**** I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver!! ****

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#143762 - 09/14/06 01:37 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: CaymanCanuck]
shellyrenee_43 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/13/06
Posts: 3
Loc: Ohio
Ok, let me explain myself. I told him i was preg. He told me it wasn't his and he didn't want anything to do with me till the baby is here. I talked to some people and they said that the baby is MINE because we were never married. My question was, since i want to be a single mom. Do i have the right to denie a DNA test to cause less trouble in the long run.

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#143763 - 09/14/06 03:01 AM And the answer is still no... [Re: shellyrenee_43]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
The baby is not YOURS. People are telling you wrong. He can request a test, or you can. Or, as I mentioned, if you're on state aide, the state will force one. Nine times out of ten, if you're a single mother, you will retain CUSTODY...mostly because judges feel the child should stay with the mother at a young age and/or because you will already have the baby with you from the outset and they're reluctant to change that. But that doesn't mean you can stop him from requesting a DNA test and asking for visitation.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#143764 - 09/14/06 03:03 PM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
hippie1981 Offline
veteran

Registered: 09/28/05
Posts: 1304
Loc: Wisconsin
If your're on state aid and they request you disclose the name of the father, you can always play dumb and say you don't know who it is. Just say it was a drunken party and you have no idea who the guy was. That way you can avoid having them go after the father for CS if you don't want to. Obviously, if the father wants a DNA test, there's nothing you can do to stop that.

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#143765 - 09/14/06 06:01 PM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: hippie1981]
nrvouswrk Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
You can not believe the number of our clients who actually DO use that excuse for not naming the father...:) Works like a charm everytime!

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#143766 - 09/14/06 09:36 PM Huh?? [Re: nrvouswrk]
CaymanCanuck Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 242
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Ok, obviously I'm having some Senior Moments regarding this poster's situation. :)

The guy told you the baby wasn't his and he wanted nothing to do with you. Right so far?

Regardless of the above, you fear that he will demand a DNA test to determine paternity. If I'm right on this, WHY do you think he will want a paternity test on a kid he has already denied?

Sorry to be so thick, but I don't get the problem. Hasn't the guy already indicated he doesn't want to be involved?

On the flip side, if he DOES want to acknowledge the kid if it's his, what's so bad about getting some financial and emotional help? Is he a real pr1ck or something?
_________________________
**** I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver!! ****

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#143767 - 09/15/06 01:49 AM Bad bad bad advice... [Re: hippie1981]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Because if they ever find out, or the father comes up later requesting DNA, the state might decide to make HER responsible for paying them back since she would have committed fraud.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#143768 - 09/15/06 02:15 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: hippie1981]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
That wouldn't work around here. Our judge would make you parade in 30 men, if that's what it took to find the daddy.

Let's not forget that dad's are just as important in a child's life.

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#143769 - 09/15/06 03:00 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: Rebecca5]
triple Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/14/06
Posts: 40
Not in my state they are not. They are strictly wallets.

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#143770 - 09/15/06 03:11 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: triple]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
When the child is born, the hospital will ask you to name the father. You can do so or decline. If you name a father, it creates a presumption of paternity which bestows no rights. If he is there and signs some form recognizing his paternity, it adjudicates his paternity.

None of that precludes him --or you--form filing an action to adjudicate paternity. In that action, blood testes may be requested. He may seek custody, parenting rights and you may seek lying in costs and ongoing medical costs. What happens in court depends on the circumstances. the unwritten law states that you are in the driver's seat for custody. He will receive parenting time of some sort regardless of what he said before hand, if he so desires.

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#143771 - 09/15/06 05:00 AM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: Maury]
mtdew Offline
member

Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 133
[quote] blood testes may be requested [/quote]

ROFL!!! I'm sorry but that was just too funny Maury.

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#143772 - 09/15/06 09:09 PM Re: Any help will be great! [Re: shellyrenee_43]
LinusluvsSally Offline
addict

Registered: 08/23/06
Posts: 441
Loc: South Florida
[quote]I talked to some people and they said that the baby is MINE because we were never married. [/quote]

Hmmmm Wouldn't it still be yours if you were married? LOL

Your child is entitled to a father and if there is a man who believes he is that father then he is entitled at any time to come in and attempt to prove it. You will not have the right to deny a paternity test.

If you don't want the sperm donor who poked you to be involved with your baby then you should have never told him you were pregnant. Did he at least buy you a nice dinner first?

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