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#197 - 06/09/04 04:40 AM You know where babies come from, right? [Re: gr8Dad]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
ya kinda have to have the intimate contact, I believe.

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#198 - 06/09/04 06:15 AM Re: You know where babies come from, right? [Re: Melody]
Shyrider Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 44
She may not want to speak of the details gr8dad, as this *is* a public board, but from what I gathered, he refused intimate contact for a long duration, she has now went through cancer, (which could very well be the reason she cannot have any more children), but from the sounds of it, he asked for her to have a tubal ligation. She said, "As for the children, he is 18 years older and wanted no more children, refused a vasectomy and refused physical contact until we were sure we could not conceive. "

Regardless of what the personal details are, it shouldn't matter. Asking to have equal rights to decisionmaking is perfectly acceptable, and should be the norm.

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#199 - 06/09/04 10:14 AM Re: You know where babies come from, right? [Re: Shyrider]
Stacey Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/09/04
Posts: 9
Thank you for understanding. That is the case. So, any suggestions as to how to proceed? Do I fight or give in and take the stipulations until final orders? Also, there is no waiver as far as I can see but again, they did not supply a General Denial as I requested so that I may respond? Any help or advise would be appreciated. Thanks.

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#200 - 06/09/04 03:24 PM Re: I am in the midst of a semi civil divorce [Re: Stacey]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
What you are asking for in terms of language is redundant if you share joint legal custody. That encompasses all of the things that you recite and more. That is the mpost likely reason that the attorney will not revise the papers in that regard.

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#201 - 06/09/04 09:37 PM I read it this way... [Re: Maury]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31796
She wants joint custody, which is right and fair. But then she posts, "I feel that I should be allowed to make decisions without his consent as he is." So it SEEMS, to me, and I could be wrong, that she wants to be able have the child treated witout Dad's input, but she doesn't want DAD to be able to treat the child without HER input. If I am reading this wrong, I apologize in advance.
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#202 - 06/10/04 12:48 AM Re: I read it this way... [Re: gr8Dad]
Shyrider Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 44
She already answered you on this once, gr8dad. She said:

"No, I feel that we should both have the same right about the decisions."

I don't know how much clearer that can be.

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#203 - 06/10/04 01:34 AM Exactly... [Re: Shyrider]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31796
She doesn't want to have to contact him to have these things done. But I believe her MAIN concern in the post that started this thread was that he was asking to have put in there that he didn't have to contact HER about having these things done. And THAT was a problem for her, as she felt she should be contacted and consulted. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#204 - 06/10/04 05:40 AM Re: Exactly... [Re: gr8Dad]
Shyrider Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 44
Exactly ..... she is asking for complete equalization in decisionmaking. Really not that difficult to understand.

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#205 - 06/10/04 08:26 AM Re: Exactly... [Re: Shyrider]
Stacey Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/09/04
Posts: 9
That is correct, I feel we should at least have to consult each other equally. Not just him or me. Either we both have to make the decisions equally together or each have the same rights to make decisions apart. I don't feel this is too much to ask. Granted, as of now we are both making them together, but leary of the future. Not trying to be hard about this, but he is my child as much as he is his. There was no problem with this happening in the last 9 years of his life, why different now? I have done nothing to loose this right, just as he hasn't. Also questioning his motive, or is it the attorney's motive? Not sure.

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#206 - 06/13/04 05:20 PM Re: Exactly... [Re: Stacey]
Stacey Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/09/04
Posts: 9
Newest info, found out papers read that I waive my rights to notice of any further court appearances or dates. I will have to leave the guardianship as it is to keep from a lenghty battle, but will change the wording of the waiver of rights and will send letter to the judge and clerk and attorney and ex. Luckily found an attorney to review for free. His attorney is pushing for all for him and nothing on me. Do not know what he has told atty. to this point but will find out soon. Thanks all for your support and input.

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