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#194734 - 02/14/07 05:07 PM Advice needed
Olivia000102 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Buffalo New York
I've been seperated for two months now. My husband asked for a divorce right before Christmas. I work but I don't make enough to support my two children. This is all new to me and I need to know what my rights are. He hasn't paid any child support as of yet. Can I get him for abandonment?

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#194735 - 02/14/07 05:46 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: Olivia000102]
zepdiva Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/26/06
Posts: 13
You'll get lots of opinions from this board but no tangible advice. You're better off contacting an attorney. There are those on this board who claim they are attorneys but the fact that they can spend all day on a message board would indicate that they don't have much going on elsewhere. Know what I mean? So go see a real lawyer. Good luck to you.

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#194736 - 02/14/07 06:10 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: zepdiva]
Olivia000102 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Buffalo New York
Thanks for the warning. I've read a few things that bug me. I will go somewhere else.

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#194737 - 02/14/07 06:48 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: Olivia000102]
preemiemom Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
Olivia..

Since you are in New York, I recommend checking out the New York State Unified Court System website.

the following is the link that'll get you links to free forms, legal information etc:

http://www.courts.state.ny.us/courthelp/index.html

Further, I suggest familiarizing yourself with the New York Child Support Standards Act (aka: "CSSA").

https://newyorkchildsupport.com/child_support_standards.html

There are those that are helpful and have EXCELLENT information.. having been there, done that themselves and there are at least a few that are from the state of New York, so their information is going to be most specifically helpful.

When possible, when reading folks replies, try to ascertain where they are replying FROM, so you can know/reasonably know that their information applies to you.

I am from New York.. Long Island. Divorced here once myself, going through 2nd now and assisted current husband/stbx with HIS first divorce. So, I've used these links myself for my own experiences.

As an FYI.. in all likelihood, he will not have to pay child support until such time as you come to a separation agreement. So, for example, if he left August of 2006, but you don't file a separation agreement until August of 2007.. you may be out of luck for that year. Or at least that's what I've always seen... unless you specify in that document (your separation agreement) a child support start date that is reflective of the date he left (or reasonably soon thereafter).

Good luck :)

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#194738 - 02/14/07 07:49 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: Olivia000102]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Can I get him for abandonment?

---> Based on what little information you have provided, it is doubtful.

---> As for what your "rights" are:

- You have a right to 1/2 of the marital assets accumulated during the marriage.

- You have a right to 1/2 of the marital liabilities accumulated during the marriage.

- Depending on the length of marriage, your contribution to the marriage, etc you may or may not be entitled to alimony.

He hasn't paid any child support as of yet.

---> Why would he pay child support for children that are not his?
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#194739 - 02/14/07 08:10 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: Gecko]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
You can file for CS ( & SS if you think you'll qualify ) in your county Family Court without filing for divorce .
_________________________
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

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#194740 - 02/14/07 11:54 PM Re: Advice needed [Re: Gecko]
Olivia000102 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Buffalo New York
Who said the children weren't his? They are his children.

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#194741 - 02/15/07 12:55 AM Re: Advice needed [Re: Olivia000102]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Because you said "my" children as opposed to "our" children.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#194742 - 02/15/07 03:48 AM To your own detriment... [Re: Olivia000102]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Hon if you let things "bug" you that quickly (since you seemingly "just joined"), you're going to go through a lot of hard knocks in life. Be that as it may...if you're REAL, I'll give ya my two cents...even though you claimed to not want em.

If you TRULY don't make enough to support your kids and he left them with you, see if you qualify for state aid. THEY will go after him for support a.s.a.p. They'll want to get as much back as they can, and they do this by collecting the CS. You won't have to do anything. Otherwise, you'll need to do it yourself or get a lawyer and ask for temp emergency support. Doesn't mean he'll pay it, so be prepared to stand on your own if he doesn't. It's BEST to have a lawyer help you. For that, you can contact your local Legal Aid Society and see if you qualify for their assistance or reduced costs. If not, get a few free consults with various attorneys. Those should at least steer you in the right direction as to what to file and ask for.

Abandonment would be unlikely if he's had any contact with you and/or the children during the last 2 months. If he left and you've heard nothing, then you could ask for a divorce based on abandonment. It's only for the divorce mind you, and does nothing to change the legal standing with support and asset/debt division.

But you need to get the emergency CS hearing started a.s.a.p. Until it's ordered, he owes nothing, and they will generally only make him pay support from the filing date. So you need to get it filed.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#194743 - 02/15/07 03:55 AM Re: To your own detriment... [Re: almostheaven]
preemiemom Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
Hi! If I can add my own piece of knowledge in this area, being from here and divorced once already here? Not sure what the actual timeframe is in NY, but I think abandonment may be a year? NY is not a no-fault state so you do have to show grounds; however, a LOT of people get around the "no-fault" roadblock by filing on the grounds of "constructive abandonment", or in simpler terms, not having had intimate relations for a year (it's ok if you did, not like anyone's CHECKING as long as you both agree that's your story and you're stickin' to it). There's all kinds of language of "they didn't sleep with me even though I begged and pleaded", but it does work and is a viable "ground" here on which to file, barring having some other valid grounds on which to do so.

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