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#222 - 06/11/04 04:14 PM child custody of grandson
grandma2002 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/08/04
Posts: 4
Would appreciate some feed back and advice on my suitation: My son and his family were stationed overseas, there was a domestic violence suitation between the two that sent the mother and child back to the states to live with us, After her return to the states she approached us and said that she wanted to get on with her life and join the army and turn over custody of the child to us.We took on sole finanical responsibility of her and the child, for 7 months.She went out of state only to return and say that she was going to move to live with friends and look for work, we asked to have the child stay with us, while she was doing so.And she did for 3 months, We had been in contact with the father as to the arraingments, and then there was a MONEY issue, he had been giving her through a military allotment $600.00 monthly only to find out that none of this was being used for the child.He came home on leave, and was going to help us retain a Temp.custody aggrement till his return in 2005.The mother appears after 3 months of the child with us, finds the father home and now we hear the HORROR, the father and mother left together out of state ( we still have the child ) only to come back a week later, and say that they want to make their marriage work, even though he left 2 days later going back overseas and her to remain in the states ( 16000 miles apart). during the week of their abstence we retained and ECO ( emergency custody order) thus not allowing the child out of the state.We are now faced with going into court the end of this month for a hearing,to determine where the child goes. The father cannot come to the hearing, he is protected by the Sailors and Servicemans relif Act.The Mother has no legal counsel.No support from either of the parents during this 8 month ordeal, phone calls about 11 in 6 months from the mother, nothing from the father. HELP!!!!! Have a lot of documention to help with our case,still would like some advise on this suitation. Thank you for reading.

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#223 - 06/11/04 08:59 PM A few questions and some advice... [Re: grandma2002]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31796
First, is Dad aware that Mom is NOT caring for the child? If so, I would see about making arrangements through him. Mom is not going to help you, she has been collecting the child support all this time and not giving you any of it. As for your statement that NEITHER parent supported the child, I have to disagree, the father IS supporting the child, Mom is just stealing the money. One fianl question, are you the Mom's parents or the Dad's parents?
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#224 - 06/11/04 11:27 PM Re: gr8Dad [Re: gr8Dad]
grandma2002 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/08/04
Posts: 4
Thank you for your response: to answer your questions, I am the (Fathers)mother. We did try to go through the father, he came home for christmas, he was aware of the situation,and had agreed to sign over Temp custody of the child till he could return to the states in 2005. The paper work had been drawn up at the lawyers office for him, She( the mother) came back to our house, found the father here, and the story goes, the two left together( without the child) and stayed out of state together for 1 week until his return overseas,Now the two have decided that they want their marriage to work from 16000 miles apart.He being in the military, has gotten base legal to file paperwork requesting a hearing on this matter. We obtained the ECO while the parents were together. At this point the father is not being any help, thats why I stated that neither has supported their child. The mother now has acess to his entire military pay, plus form my understanding holds down a full time job.Bottom line, the child has lived with us for a total of 13 months, 5 of those months the mother lived here as well, so the remainder of that time we have had full responsibilities of the child, from paying daycare, to doctors visits, as well as everyday food,clothing,etc.....Just wish i had a heads up on the way Judges feel about these kinds of suitations. Thank you for yours and anyone else who replys

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#225 - 06/12/04 03:17 AM Glad I have this opportunity... [Re: grandma2002]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31796
I am going through something that I feel is relavent to this, and I will give you my input. My ex's parents rubber stamp ALL of her actions, and continue to bad mouth me to the children, as well as assist her in her continued abuse.

Using their actions as a learning tool to myself, I will give you this advice. You need to have a heart to heart with Dad (your son). Tell him that he CAN get a hardship transfer back to the states, and that he needs to either step up and be Dad, or step out of the way and let you do the job, paying support as well. To often, we are tempted to stand on our children's side, when as the grandparents, it is your grandchild that is the important one here. Best of luck!
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#226 - 06/12/04 08:53 AM Re: thank you [Re: gr8Dad]
grandma2002 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/08/04
Posts: 4
Thank you, as for the son" we have pretty much told him that, so i guess his true colors are showing as to who is more important, A WOMEN or Child, he still feelss that his wife is more important,as that from his own mouth that they talk twicw a day ( from overseas) but has never called his child.Again thank you for listening.

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